women are incapable

friends of mine are wondering if i'm losing subject matter to blog in my blog. maybe they are right cause nowadays i don't blog everyday reporting my life. it is possible i'm losing subject matter to post but it is not about blogging everyday. i don't really 'report' my life anymore. daily routine do not need to be posted everyday, i can just copy and paste it each day. however, there are lots of memories in between which i want to keep it to myself. so, instead of blogging my life, i put it more inspiration and sensation. more to my thoughts.

i started to veer towards how women are incapable of having sex with men without developing any emotional attachment. according to some research, women's bodies some kinda hormones after having sex which makes them emotionally more vulnerable to the person they slept with. it is totally a biological answer. having sex with people you got no feelings *as in love* for, we called it fucking; but a couple with great passion of love having sex, we called it making love. make sense? yes. certainly works on me. i don't go for fucking, i'm more to making love. i mean, who the hell want fucking more than making love? do u? *laugh* however, it is just a subject matter for today. no offence.

i am who i am

quote of the day: god has given you one face, and you make yourself another by william shakespeare

isn't it meaningful? my quote of the day by shakespeare. decided to put on quote of the day *if possible*, influence by eeleen but she's more professional. i'm not that religious but i do believe there's god and i believe karma as well. not sure if we are made by god but maybe there is some relation between human and deity. god has given us one face, it can be a common one which you can see everyday. but we make ourselves another. maybe better, maybe not. we don't know which 'face' suits us the most, hence, we're trying hard to find the real 'face' of ours. thus, there is someone with two-faces. maybe it isn't their fault, maybe it is meant to be.

Promises

quote of the day: promises are like babies~ easy to make, hard to deliver

people who make promises and kept them earning my respect and liking. it is way easier to make a promise than to keep an easy one. promises come in different form and different level. even common sentences we speaks like " i will give you a call ", " lets go together ", " ok ", can be a promise. not trying to make it complicated but it seriously represent a type of promises. no harm for not keeping this type of promises but it impress and put a smile on the others if we keep it. everyone like promises, but everyone love it more if it is to put into practice. however, there are some promises that are meant to be break after a certain time, we called it the periodic promises, i.e. " i love you forever ", " would you be my girlfriend/boyfriend?". they are promises that everyone might have a chance to break it even the person hate empty promise so much. is it forgivable? perhaps. nothing is absolute.

p.s~ happy birthday to vivian !

Love is Like a Karma

quote of the day : love is like a karma

love is like a karma. agree, or not? i couldn't give an answer to this so-called question. or maybe it is just a question that suppose to be left unanswered. what you give is what you receive does work in love but not always. if we're to haggle over every ounce we give out for love, that seems like we're buying or it's an investment of ours. it is true that what u give out in love is what you will be receiving, to be frank and positive, sometimes it works. however, nothing is forever. we're still trying hard to make it endless. at least, let the spirit of love to be forever, to be endless, to have the infinity life time.


p.s ~ happy birthday to alan !

To Be or Not To Be

"to be or not to be, that's a question. " it's a famous quote by Shakespeare which i still don't get it. however, that's not my point anyway, so just leave it. as for me, i think the most i've been saying to my friends is " expect the unexpected ". i don't know why and i don't care if people agree with it. it's just what i've been trying to advice my friends when they seems like expecting too much and end up disappointing. this is my corner, but i realize it's not somewhere i can tell everything. maybe like what he and she said, i'm mysterious. am i? maybe, maybe not. not trying to be someone who i'm not. like what others said, i rather you hate me for being who i am than loving me for being who i'm not. classic, isn't it? if telling the truth is wrong, what am i suppose to do? right, pretty obvious. the only thing i could do is to keep myself away from it. however, i'm always standing on the border of right and wrong, love and hate,good and bad. there's no exact answer for everything. sometimes, things remain unsettled; questions, unanswered; life will never be complete till the day you left the world.

would you be happier?

someone asked me, if i would be happier. i don't reallly know how to answer this. i would be happier if you are by my side, i feel secure and love. but to not sound like a greedy b*tch, i have to say i'm happier than before. i'm way happier than before. nobody should live for another, but at times we live for others. won't know and couldn't predict what is going on next but for now, right at this point, i know my value of living. it feels good to be needed and to be loved. in different form like family, friends, lover.

To Content Me

i'm not joking or trying to make it look simple, but it is really easy and simple to content me. you don't need to buy me diamonds or some expensive things to please me. a simple unique thing will bring up my cheers. you don't need to bring me to this 5 stars classy restaurant for dinner. all you need is to bring me to a place where not much people know about it, a place where i show myself, as in the real me. you don't need to crack your head to think of something to say. simple conversation with a deep eyes contact worth better than a thousand planned sweet talk. you don't need to worry about the cash you are going to spend. i'm not that kind of girl that want you to spend everything on me. you don't need to explain to me when you're out with your friend. cause i understand friends are important at times. you don't need to worry about me getting piss for nothing. i angry for a reason and seldom show it. i can easily be content. i can easily feel the happiness.

so, are you ready to handle me? if you do, handle me with care and love. *wink*
i'm fragile even though i look like i'm bullet-proof glass.

Girls Cry For Reasons

some guys couldn't resist when girls cry. some guys just hate it when girls cry. some guys thought girls cry just to seek for their attention, even worst some girls cry cause they want the attention. its true that some girls do cry for fun, as in they like the attention they got when they cry. to me, i don't cry often in front of my guy. well, i don't let my tears fall easily. my tears worth something! *smile* some girls just don't get it, crying is not a good arms to control or make a guy to fall for you. i don't know the others. but for me, i like to smile and bring happiness to my guy instead of showing him my sadness and cry for no valid reason. well, i will be emotion at times but i never use it as something to control. i still cry in front of him if i really couldn't stand it. tears fall from my eye socket for reason, and i know it has to be something real bad. guys, if your girl's crying, as in really crying, the only thing you need to do is to hug her tight and let her cry in your arm. some people might not realize it, but usually only guys could give this kind of secure feeling to a girl when they are really helpless and feeling empty. yet, there are lots of reason why girls cry. practically, i agree with girls are made out of water.

list of reasons:
.mad (i seldom mad, if i do, i sleep)
.sad (who doesn't, but i sleep more)
.nervous (panic but not crying)
.scared (feeling lost but not crying)
.alone *loneliness* (yes, i cried)
.missing someone badly (yes, my family in msia)
.pregnant (accident) (woahh~ )
.heart is broken (this is the one i cry crazily)
.in love (nahh~ be happy)
.souls have been torn (sobs..)
.met a boy they can't have (to feel sorry)
.fell in love with someone else (feeling sorry)
.hurt so bad inside (cry without tears)
.to touch (yess.. cry happily)

basically, there's only few reasons for me to cry. that's also why i say my tears worth and means a lot. i don't like to cry as i'm more to a cheerful person i guess. or maybe like what sam said, i'm being too tough. not that i want to be, but the unconscious slowly lead me there. although i seems to be strong and tough, deep down inside me, you know what i want. *you know who you are* hahaha~ whatever it is, bless me as a strong character. sigh. last but not least, i'm strong, i'm tough.. but doesn't mean i don't need you, i don't need care, i don't need love. fyi, people like me need more than what others thought. is just that my character and personality made me not requesting more and satisfying with what i have. it doesn't mean i don't need. *wink*

Not Just A Label

my love to you is not just a feeling. our love is not just a label. there are reasons but what motivate me is the willingness of mine giving out for you. i never think of what will i receive while giving out. and i just want to be there for you, giving all i can. i'm foolish. but you can't deny i love you more than anyone does.

Just Simply Happy

happiness, something everyone wishing for and working hard for it. however, not much people appreciate their happiness when they are having it. some even asking for more. is good to ask for more in some way, so that there's improvement but sometimes we just need to appreciate and satisfy with what we've got. we won't know what's going on or what's happening next, live your life to the fullest its what we always says but not much people actually put it in action. happiness come in different form. happiness can be in feelings, emotions or the whole situation thing. sometimes its just a short term happiness, some is a long one. actually, short or long is depending on the one that's feeling it. i felt the happiness ever since i know what i want. i'm happy that i have a clear mind on what am i doing or what i want. i'm happy that i can be satisfied easily, like just a phone call or just a hug. something that seems to be nothing actually mean something to me. also, put those unhappy emotions and feelings off as fast as i can is also one way of me getting my happiness back as soon as possible. i don't really like living in the blue. although i'm always in blue and falling in the dark hole. therefore, i don't want myself to be like that anymore. to those that bring happiness to me, thanks for pulling me away from it. i'm sorry if i look upset or being emo at times, but i'm working hard on it. at least, i'm trying not to be blue in the crowd. please forgive my tough and pretending to be strong genes, i'm just used to it. but you know, when i'm with you, i never want to cover myself with mask.

mask, you wondering? *smile* it seems to be a way of mine covering myself with a mask to protect myself. is it for self protection or i just simply don't want to show up the real me? well, both i guess. not trying to be mysterious but just don't want to open up for everyone. i'll take it off when i'm comfortable with you, sorry my friends. however, don't feel bad about it if i didn't. even my family haven't meet the soul of sylvia, the real sylvia yet. i'm half perfectionist i guessed. i'm showing my most positive side to the world instead of the negative one. sorry, but i just don't want you people to worried and be unhappy with me. i rather bring the happiness. however, there is only two person in my life that have seen the real me. why, you ask. i don't know how to explain but i seriously do feel comfortable and have faith on them.

Till It Happens

don't really know what is going on until it happens. feeling airy-fairy until you told me it is true and i can trust with all my heart. this post, totally different from the previous one which i mentioned Karma in it. this is more inspirational. whenever i doubt, i think of you. you've given me the power to overcome everything even it seems to go beyond my might. sometimes i might just kept it to myself but i seriously appreciate and thanks for doing that. thanks for giving me a reason to hold on my faith. hence, i'm transforming into another person. someone that willing to walk along the street with you and listen to your heart beat when you walk fast. someone that foolishly do whatever that bring happiness. someone who will always be there when you need. someone that strongly believe faith and hesitated her destiny. you, i'm referring to are the one i'm thinking right now.

Karma

Ever heard of KARMA? It generally taken as a term that comprises the whole cycle of cause and effect of ones life. Karma is a sum of all that an induvidual has done, currently doing and will be doing. Karma is not about retribution, vengeance, punishment or reward but it simply deals with what is. In religions that incorporate reincarnation, karma extends through one's present life and all past and future lives as well. It is simply the golden rule: what you give out is what you receive. Viewed mystically, how Karma functions may be experienced as a personal demons.

me

Friend were demanding me to tell more about me in my blog. I normally don't do it as I usually post what I felt. But this time is an exception, cause I couldn't resist her request. Anyhow, I don't know how to start it off, so I visited vivian's blog and got an idea. She got tagged from a friend, and I'll just use it as a guideline.

started with food as everyone needed it in life. I am cavil about anything related to my gustation. I do enjoy the Japanese food very much as I think it is healthy and fresh. Oh, I only eat the fresh and delicious Japanese food. Sue me! *laugh* basically, I like eating. Well, only the good one of course. Enjoyed having medium steak with black pepper sauce and sides with salads and baked potatoes. I'm not exactly a 'western' food eater. I love the Asian food as well. Just, make sure it taste good. As for ice-cream, I can't resist it. Ice-cream temptation kills my restrained. Especially roche, cherry ripe and durians flavored. Well, that's also why I'm gaining weight like a sow.

music is what we need. Yes! Need not want. We need music to comfort，console, suppress our tenseness, calm our emotions. I love music. Especially those with good melody and touches my sensation. And frankly speaking, I listen songs with mood. And those who represent my current situation.

here comes the sensitive part, my characteristic. Well, there's seriously no need for me to tell who I am or how I act. No point telling as no one believe if they don't know me. Some people said I'm tough and cool and calm and obstinacy. Some said I'm sensitive, emotion, clumsy, romantic, soft. That's totally different isn't it? But guess what? Both description are right. I'm like that. I won't show my weak side easily as it is fragile. Only those I love and trusted most will see that. so far, only 1 person ever see that. That's really close to my soul. Others will see my tough and strong character. I believes and I handle things very well. I kept my tears and it will only fall for someone I really care. I hate people betray me. Trust me! You can insult me, you can bite me, even slap me but please don't backstab and betray me. I will forgive but never forget and hence I will not accept you again. That's me!

They Left

Today's the last day of my semester break. Woke up early in the morning, prepared lunch for my family as they will be leaving. Feeling kind of down. They left, I realized atmosphere of my apartment changed from liveliness to quietness. Never felt that before they came. After few days of their visits, I found out I miss them so much. I missed hanging with my dad talking about everything from food to life philosophy. I missed hanging with my mom talking about my friends and telling her I wish to buy this and that. I missed fooling with my brother, comparing and discussing everything about teenagers. I even missed arguing and fighting with my younger sister. Everything seems to be so different ever since I'm here. Just so you know I seriously feel the loneliness now.

Visited Wendy's blog and her latest post about women nowadays that tolerate with disgrace and dishonor trigger off my detest on such jerks, although the women is stupid enough. There was a case where Stacy* who is a wife of a jerk and mother of 4 children facing a poor plight. Her beast husband having an affair with their maid. Even worst, it's not being hush up but to the eye of everyone. All Stacy* could do is to tolerate and keep quiet. Her beast husband kept the maid's passport so that she couldn't send the maid back. Furthermore, the maid having Stacy* beast husband as backing boldly treated the children badly and not doing her 'work' as a maid. She event snigger when the husband and wife having argument. I mean, how can Stacy* tolerate with this kind of situation? It's a poor plight, face it. She should make report to the agency to send the maid back and better still, divorce the husband. But like what my friend said, this kind of story happens all the time, sometimes we won't know. Hence, women are feeling more and more insecure to be with men. It's not only men's fault but women too. Things don't happen one way, what comes around go around, that's what I believe in.

What I believe in is... Karma. I do believe karma as things always happen for a reason. Cause of that reason, you are having or currently facing something. I'm not exactly a Buddhist, although I believe the 'kuan yin' and according to my grandmother, I'm 'kuan yin' so called 'goddaughter'. I trust 'kuan yin' has a kind of power that egis people who trusted her and set one's heart at rest. I don't know how to explain but I do think it's a believes I would like to hold on. However, beside 'kuan yin', I'm more to free thinker. I trust myself, I believe my feelings and sense although sometimes it maybe wrong.