song showing on my ipod : hurt so bad by hins cheung.
i'm addicted to songs nowadays. especially those songs that really touched and suits my mood. like, kiss goodbye, hard to say i'm sorry, miss you like crazy, as long as you love me, beautifully broken and also this particular one, i'm listening to.. hurt so bad. i cried. last night, after my decision, i cried. well, maybe i'm just a little upset bout it. as you know, its really a big decision for me. to let go someone you really love, to face it when you know he's not yours, and to give up waiting and loving are not an easy job. cried a while, till i fell asleep. guess i'm really tired, tired of waiting, tired of hoping and also, tired of loving. just like what hilary duff said to michael murray in cinderella story, '' waiting for you its like waiting rain falls on this drought, useless and disappointed ''. its exactly what i feel right now, right this moment. maybe things are not as easy as i think, but no matter how hard it will be, i believe i can overcome this. i just needed some times. and i guess, he need a friend more than a girlfriend. so, i'll just be a friend.
went hartamas with my family. had dinner there. but the food wasn't nice at all, won't be going back anymore. on the way back, 98.8 radio f.m was playing 'hurt so bad' by hins cheung. this song is really nice. comfort my soul. calm my feelings. i hurt so bad, but at the same time, i felt relief. weird right? i just need to calm myself. ^^ another NEWS!! i received RMIT offer letter this afternoon. got to fill in the acceptance letter and send it back to them. guys and girls, its almost time for me to say goodbye. not that soon, but it'll happen in 2months plus. do miss me, cause i'll miss you guys. a lot. wasn't sure if i can handle this, but i think it shouldn't be a problem now. its time for me to be independent.
p.s cheer up.
Friday
Tired Of Waiting
song showing on my ipod : beautifully broken by ashlee simpson.
i've heard a story, maybe its a legend. i'm not sure bout it. the world started with living things like plants and animals. after few thousand years, god realize the world isn't exciting enough. so he decided to create another 'thing', which is a man. some called him adam. adam is a nearly perfect man. he's strong, tough and can handle stuff by himself. ages past by just like that. one day, god saw adam sitting alone near the beach, facing the lavenda land that's belongs to him. god know adam felt lonely. even though there are animals and plants accompany him, but deep down inside him, he's still a lonely soul. on that night, while adam's sleeping, god taken something from him. god took one of his bone. by using adam's bone, god created another 'thing', which is a women, called eva. when adam wake up from his sleep, he feels something wrong, he's uncomfortable, feeling alone as well. until he met eva. those feelings turns to be happiness. after this incident, god made a decision. he used every man's bone to create a women. only when the man found his bone, which is the right women, he'll get the real, pure happiness. i realize this story are really meaningful. well, at least it make sense.
after all this while, i finally dare to face my feelings. before this, i'm crazy enough to even think of falling in love with him again. well, not falling in love. perhaps, i should say waiting for him. it's stupid isn't it? i should have know if we're really meant to be together, it won't happen after 3years broken up. we won't even break up in the first place. was stupid enough, no. should i say stubborn? yea~ i'm stubborn enough to think its all because we're not mature and stuff. but, is that really the reason? well, maybe. who knows? why am i so stubborn? why am i trying to go for something which doesn't belongs to me anymore? few days ago, i heard he's not happy about something. was thinking to accompany him, without thinking any other reason. i just want to support as a friend. but after that, i realize he doesn't need me at all. yet, i don't need him. i don't need someone who doesn't love me anymore. but i just don't understand, before that, he asked me if i'm still in love with him. and telling me he still love me. i thought i might stand a chance. but after a while, i understand, its not the truth. it happens because, he's drunk. i'm so stupid. should have thought it in the first place.. after my birthday party, almost all my friend are drunk. even though he doesn't drink much, but still he drank a lot. that means, whatever he said, its no longer something truth or making sense.
p.s don't blame me for giving up. i admit i give up. the very first time i give up. giving up, is not because i'm escaping. i care, i love, that's why i have to leave. i have to put my heart away. my heart is fragile, breakable, shattered. i can't take it anymore. i'm sorry to say i have to give up waiting and giving out my love, cause....
you left me no choice..
i've heard a story, maybe its a legend. i'm not sure bout it. the world started with living things like plants and animals. after few thousand years, god realize the world isn't exciting enough. so he decided to create another 'thing', which is a man. some called him adam. adam is a nearly perfect man. he's strong, tough and can handle stuff by himself. ages past by just like that. one day, god saw adam sitting alone near the beach, facing the lavenda land that's belongs to him. god know adam felt lonely. even though there are animals and plants accompany him, but deep down inside him, he's still a lonely soul. on that night, while adam's sleeping, god taken something from him. god took one of his bone. by using adam's bone, god created another 'thing', which is a women, called eva. when adam wake up from his sleep, he feels something wrong, he's uncomfortable, feeling alone as well. until he met eva. those feelings turns to be happiness. after this incident, god made a decision. he used every man's bone to create a women. only when the man found his bone, which is the right women, he'll get the real, pure happiness. i realize this story are really meaningful. well, at least it make sense.
after all this while, i finally dare to face my feelings. before this, i'm crazy enough to even think of falling in love with him again. well, not falling in love. perhaps, i should say waiting for him. it's stupid isn't it? i should have know if we're really meant to be together, it won't happen after 3years broken up. we won't even break up in the first place. was stupid enough, no. should i say stubborn? yea~ i'm stubborn enough to think its all because we're not mature and stuff. but, is that really the reason? well, maybe. who knows? why am i so stubborn? why am i trying to go for something which doesn't belongs to me anymore? few days ago, i heard he's not happy about something. was thinking to accompany him, without thinking any other reason. i just want to support as a friend. but after that, i realize he doesn't need me at all. yet, i don't need him. i don't need someone who doesn't love me anymore. but i just don't understand, before that, he asked me if i'm still in love with him. and telling me he still love me. i thought i might stand a chance. but after a while, i understand, its not the truth. it happens because, he's drunk. i'm so stupid. should have thought it in the first place.. after my birthday party, almost all my friend are drunk. even though he doesn't drink much, but still he drank a lot. that means, whatever he said, its no longer something truth or making sense.
p.s don't blame me for giving up. i admit i give up. the very first time i give up. giving up, is not because i'm escaping. i care, i love, that's why i have to leave. i have to put my heart away. my heart is fragile, breakable, shattered. i can't take it anymore. i'm sorry to say i have to give up waiting and giving out my love, cause....
you left me no choice..
Wednesday
Anti-Anger
song showing on my ipod : hurry up by north
daily routine. woke up around 5.30 in the morning, went for a jog, bath, drove sister to school, working hour. talked to mother this morning, she's worried as well as daddy. received aunt michelle this morning, she reminds me not to get involve in unnecessary issues when i'm at australia. she also told me racism in australia earnest compare to other places. mom told me bout this, i guess that's also one of the reason my parents are worrying. anyway, just hope they will trust me and let me handle things by myself. whatever it is, i still have to give everything a try by myself and i think it trains up my maturity. so, i really wish they'll let me do things i like to, let me learn to be responsible on stuff i done.
i've read something about anti-anger. everyone know what anger is, and we've all felt it at one stage. some people use violence others use exercise, and some just bottle it up to let our annoying rage out somehow. but everyone deal it in different ways. anger is normal and natural, but it's not a bad idea to learn how to control it, losing temper is not a good thing, isn't it? anger can be caused almost anything. most of them can be broken down into external things (like annoying people or traffic jams), drivers will know the feelings. especially nowadays some of the youngster are being rude, and on-the-road people just don't bother the other drivers. that's also why we are called the third mentality 'people'. beside the external things, there are also internal things like jealousy or worrying too much. it's usually caused by things outside our control, and that's what it can be so damn annoying ! i've been through the internal and external things that causes me to be really angry and annoyed me. but we just have to deal with it. it's no good if it's stuck inside our stomach running around like crazy. what i always do is pick up a cushion and throw it against the ground, sing out loud, sleep.. whatever we do to express it, don't let it escape through violence cause that's never, ever acceptable. sometimes humour works a treat in diffusing anger. ^^ so i found out some anti-anger ways. next time you feel something start to boil up inside, see if any of these calming tips can help you chill out a little. 1) go for a jog outside. 2) swing at a punching bag. 3) throw a cushion against the wall. 4) write down exactly what you're thinking in a diary. 5) talk to your best friend about how you're feeling. 6) turn up music really loud and sing along. 7) cook something. 8) get your mind off it by playing an instrument. 9) breathe deeply and repeat calming words to yourself. 10) throw yourself into a great new book. 11) stroke your pet dog or cat. try it, it might works on you!!
p.s i'm sorry to say i love you.
love loads.
daily routine. woke up around 5.30 in the morning, went for a jog, bath, drove sister to school, working hour. talked to mother this morning, she's worried as well as daddy. received aunt michelle this morning, she reminds me not to get involve in unnecessary issues when i'm at australia. she also told me racism in australia earnest compare to other places. mom told me bout this, i guess that's also one of the reason my parents are worrying. anyway, just hope they will trust me and let me handle things by myself. whatever it is, i still have to give everything a try by myself and i think it trains up my maturity. so, i really wish they'll let me do things i like to, let me learn to be responsible on stuff i done.
i've read something about anti-anger. everyone know what anger is, and we've all felt it at one stage. some people use violence others use exercise, and some just bottle it up to let our annoying rage out somehow. but everyone deal it in different ways. anger is normal and natural, but it's not a bad idea to learn how to control it, losing temper is not a good thing, isn't it? anger can be caused almost anything. most of them can be broken down into external things (like annoying people or traffic jams), drivers will know the feelings. especially nowadays some of the youngster are being rude, and on-the-road people just don't bother the other drivers. that's also why we are called the third mentality 'people'. beside the external things, there are also internal things like jealousy or worrying too much. it's usually caused by things outside our control, and that's what it can be so damn annoying ! i've been through the internal and external things that causes me to be really angry and annoyed me. but we just have to deal with it. it's no good if it's stuck inside our stomach running around like crazy. what i always do is pick up a cushion and throw it against the ground, sing out loud, sleep.. whatever we do to express it, don't let it escape through violence cause that's never, ever acceptable. sometimes humour works a treat in diffusing anger. ^^ so i found out some anti-anger ways. next time you feel something start to boil up inside, see if any of these calming tips can help you chill out a little. 1) go for a jog outside. 2) swing at a punching bag. 3) throw a cushion against the wall. 4) write down exactly what you're thinking in a diary. 5) talk to your best friend about how you're feeling. 6) turn up music really loud and sing along. 7) cook something. 8) get your mind off it by playing an instrument. 9) breathe deeply and repeat calming words to yourself. 10) throw yourself into a great new book. 11) stroke your pet dog or cat. try it, it might works on you!!
p.s i'm sorry to say i love you.
love loads.
Tuesday
Boyfriend Paying?
song showing on my ipod : california dreamin' by north
omg. the ultra-violet spoilt my skins and even hair. it's so warm, oh no, hot ! i think the temperature was around 30-34celcius. even when i'm in my honda jazz, turned on the air condition to the maximum, i can still feel myself burning! my cheeks obviously become pinkish red again. sigh. and derek thought i'm shy. just wish melbourne's weather are not as sick as malaysia's.
i applied rmit. waiting for their offer letter now, and then apply the student visa. after that, i have to get my things packed. well, don't say i still got plenty of time. i don't have. it's end of march and i still have april and may only. not enough for me to plan and approve my list of stuff to be bring over there. well, maybe i'm a little fussy. and i realize i couldn't let go a lot of things. even my lovely 'sammy', my 'coupee', mashimaro, patrick dog.. i just feel like bringing them over. you know, i might feel really lonely. and those things can play a role. hahaha. accompany me all night. i don't know if i will cry all night for the first week or second. as i'm really close with my family, and i know i'm going to miss them like crazy.
talked to mom this morning while we were jogging. mom said she do think dad is going to cry when i'm leaving to aus. and same go to my brother and sister. i think so. i mean, i think they are going to cry and might miss me a lot. not to say i'm showing off or anything, but i think i brighten up my family's life. not only me of course, i'm part of the family. my brother, sister, father and mother too. we feel so good to be together. close and warm. that's what i'm going to miss when i'm over there alone. was wondering if i should take media and communication. but thanks to few of my friends ( min ern, shirley, ching loong, joery etc ). pei huan and few of my friends said i'm suitable for media and communication. but that's just not enough. i need to care for my career as well. good luck to me! i have to be really hardworking this time. taking the fast track. class started on june and finish it on january. woah! fast. super fast. god bless me.
visited kimmie's blog this evening. she wrote something i always wanted to mention in my blog to everyone. so the topic should be '' why are girls expecting their boy to pay for everything ? '' . i'm not sure if you get the picture. you can see those so-called hot chicas going out without bringing more than 30bucks. and they are watching movie, having lunch at dome or even delicious, or having a sip at yipee cup, then they are going u-bowl, foosball, caramel corns for movie etc. i'm pretty sure everything cost more than that. even worst, some of them can go back with cosmetics and some skin care products from skins food, cds from tower records, nice outfits from fcuk. you see? with 30bucks, they can enjoy so much! well, maybe because they are 'hot chicas' that's why guys are willing to pay for them? earnestly, i don't know and don't get it. those guys are millionaire or what? i don't think they are working if they are same age like us, a student. and getting allowance from parents weekly, well maybe some daily. but how much do they need? to cover up their expenses. not only their expenses but also their chics. and girls! why do you need guys to pay everything? can't you just share it? well, maybe on some special occasion like birthday, valentines' day and christmas, you girls expecting guys to spend instead of paying. but if is only normal dating, i don't see why can't they just share the amount. it's more considerate isn't it? i do think guys will be impressed by a 'hot chicas' with good personality, with brain, considerate and not expecting everything to be paid by them. think about it. doesn't it make any sense to you?
p.s i miss you
somthing made me smile click here !!!
love loads.
omg. the ultra-violet spoilt my skins and even hair. it's so warm, oh no, hot ! i think the temperature was around 30-34celcius. even when i'm in my honda jazz, turned on the air condition to the maximum, i can still feel myself burning! my cheeks obviously become pinkish red again. sigh. and derek thought i'm shy. just wish melbourne's weather are not as sick as malaysia's.
i applied rmit. waiting for their offer letter now, and then apply the student visa. after that, i have to get my things packed. well, don't say i still got plenty of time. i don't have. it's end of march and i still have april and may only. not enough for me to plan and approve my list of stuff to be bring over there. well, maybe i'm a little fussy. and i realize i couldn't let go a lot of things. even my lovely 'sammy', my 'coupee', mashimaro, patrick dog.. i just feel like bringing them over. you know, i might feel really lonely. and those things can play a role. hahaha. accompany me all night. i don't know if i will cry all night for the first week or second. as i'm really close with my family, and i know i'm going to miss them like crazy.
talked to mom this morning while we were jogging. mom said she do think dad is going to cry when i'm leaving to aus. and same go to my brother and sister. i think so. i mean, i think they are going to cry and might miss me a lot. not to say i'm showing off or anything, but i think i brighten up my family's life. not only me of course, i'm part of the family. my brother, sister, father and mother too. we feel so good to be together. close and warm. that's what i'm going to miss when i'm over there alone. was wondering if i should take media and communication. but thanks to few of my friends ( min ern, shirley, ching loong, joery etc ). pei huan and few of my friends said i'm suitable for media and communication. but that's just not enough. i need to care for my career as well. good luck to me! i have to be really hardworking this time. taking the fast track. class started on june and finish it on january. woah! fast. super fast. god bless me.
visited kimmie's blog this evening. she wrote something i always wanted to mention in my blog to everyone. so the topic should be '' why are girls expecting their boy to pay for everything ? '' . i'm not sure if you get the picture. you can see those so-called hot chicas going out without bringing more than 30bucks. and they are watching movie, having lunch at dome or even delicious, or having a sip at yipee cup, then they are going u-bowl, foosball, caramel corns for movie etc. i'm pretty sure everything cost more than that. even worst, some of them can go back with cosmetics and some skin care products from skins food, cds from tower records, nice outfits from fcuk. you see? with 30bucks, they can enjoy so much! well, maybe because they are 'hot chicas' that's why guys are willing to pay for them? earnestly, i don't know and don't get it. those guys are millionaire or what? i don't think they are working if they are same age like us, a student. and getting allowance from parents weekly, well maybe some daily. but how much do they need? to cover up their expenses. not only their expenses but also their chics. and girls! why do you need guys to pay everything? can't you just share it? well, maybe on some special occasion like birthday, valentines' day and christmas, you girls expecting guys to spend instead of paying. but if is only normal dating, i don't see why can't they just share the amount. it's more considerate isn't it? i do think guys will be impressed by a 'hot chicas' with good personality, with brain, considerate and not expecting everything to be paid by them. think about it. doesn't it make any sense to you?
p.s i miss you
somthing made me smile click here !!!
love loads.
Monday
Plans W/O Me
song showing on my ipod : amazing kiss by boa
actually, i'm not really in the frame of mind to do anything. instead of covering myself with blanket, switch off the lights and sleep, i decided to do something more worthwhile. i mean, its only 8something now, i shouldn't be that lazy to sleep. although i'm tired. i just couldn't put myself in that inactive mood. blogging are just going to be part of my life. you get the picture? typing stuff at blogger.com just make me feel like i'm talking to a really nice friend. well, someone who will only listen to me. someplace i can express myself freely. life are full of stress. we just have to bear with it. and you know reading others blog or even mine (sometimes i read what i wrote), its like a friend talking to you over the caramel frappacino. you just have to imagine. hahaha, imaginary friend like what kiddos usually have. but we are adult. teenagers maybe. we got friends. i got friends. but sometimes i just don't know how to tell them how i feel. lack of communication. although we got friends, but not everything you willing to tell face to face. right? blogging helps a lot. (free advertising) *grin*
so today. what happened? well, just another normal, usual, customary, ordinary monday. start off with i went for a jog with mother. chelsea joined us half way, with her bike. mother and i babble about things happened yesterday. i wasn't aware i got like more than 20 cousins. hahaha.. it's witty. i thought i got 5 cousins from my father side. but instead, i got more ! those belongs to my grandfather's brother's sons are also my cousins right? their surname are 'chang' too. well, its getting complicated. they should have let me know earlier. just in case someday, i met a really hot guy, and it turns out to be one of my cousin when we're getting married. oh my god, that will be the most laughable subject in my entire life. hahaha, i'm getting a little off topic. after jog, usual routine. bath, changed, drove my sister to school and then, office hour!
went studylink with my parents just to check out the university and stuff. well, i'm pretty sure i'm taking foundation. class started on 13 june and ended somewhere in january. supposingly a 10 months course but for me, i join the 8months. meaning i have to finish up the same units others doing within 8months. tough. but guess i'll just do it. not try my best but do my best. isn't it sound better? laugh out loud. so what should i take? media and communication? business? or art and design? ahhaha.. will think about it.
p.s i love you, i honestly love you. you don't need to give any answer, i see it in your eyes. maybe it will be better left unsaid. i know your plans don't include me, deep inside my soul, i feel so lonely. all my hopes, bleeding away. i thought its over and done, but the heartache lives on inside. you never see me fall apart, in the words means a broken heart. its just emotion that's taken me over, tied up in sorrow, lost in my soul. i can't fight this feeling anymore. i've forgotten when i started fighting for. but i'm depressed.
but still, love you loads. and still, you won't know.
actually, i'm not really in the frame of mind to do anything. instead of covering myself with blanket, switch off the lights and sleep, i decided to do something more worthwhile. i mean, its only 8something now, i shouldn't be that lazy to sleep. although i'm tired. i just couldn't put myself in that inactive mood. blogging are just going to be part of my life. you get the picture? typing stuff at blogger.com just make me feel like i'm talking to a really nice friend. well, someone who will only listen to me. someplace i can express myself freely. life are full of stress. we just have to bear with it. and you know reading others blog or even mine (sometimes i read what i wrote), its like a friend talking to you over the caramel frappacino. you just have to imagine. hahaha, imaginary friend like what kiddos usually have. but we are adult. teenagers maybe. we got friends. i got friends. but sometimes i just don't know how to tell them how i feel. lack of communication. although we got friends, but not everything you willing to tell face to face. right? blogging helps a lot. (free advertising) *grin*
so today. what happened? well, just another normal, usual, customary, ordinary monday. start off with i went for a jog with mother. chelsea joined us half way, with her bike. mother and i babble about things happened yesterday. i wasn't aware i got like more than 20 cousins. hahaha.. it's witty. i thought i got 5 cousins from my father side. but instead, i got more ! those belongs to my grandfather's brother's sons are also my cousins right? their surname are 'chang' too. well, its getting complicated. they should have let me know earlier. just in case someday, i met a really hot guy, and it turns out to be one of my cousin when we're getting married. oh my god, that will be the most laughable subject in my entire life. hahaha, i'm getting a little off topic. after jog, usual routine. bath, changed, drove my sister to school and then, office hour!
went studylink with my parents just to check out the university and stuff. well, i'm pretty sure i'm taking foundation. class started on 13 june and ended somewhere in january. supposingly a 10 months course but for me, i join the 8months. meaning i have to finish up the same units others doing within 8months. tough. but guess i'll just do it. not try my best but do my best. isn't it sound better? laugh out loud. so what should i take? media and communication? business? or art and design? ahhaha.. will think about it.
p.s i love you, i honestly love you. you don't need to give any answer, i see it in your eyes. maybe it will be better left unsaid. i know your plans don't include me, deep inside my soul, i feel so lonely. all my hopes, bleeding away. i thought its over and done, but the heartache lives on inside. you never see me fall apart, in the words means a broken heart. its just emotion that's taken me over, tied up in sorrow, lost in my soul. i can't fight this feeling anymore. i've forgotten when i started fighting for. but i'm depressed.
but still, love you loads. and still, you won't know.
Sunday
'Qing Ming'
song showing on my ipod : oh mandy by barry manilow.
phew. i'm super exhausted. was at bidor and ipoh the whole morning. well, actually the whole day. *grin* woke up around 5.30 in the morning. uncle richard and aunt may peng reached and followed us to bidor. 'Qing Ming' suppose to be on 5th of April but we went earlier because we have to go nilai on that day, my grandfather. 'Qing Ming' is a day when one pays respect to a dead person at his tomb. bidor is where i pay my respect to my great grandfather. relatives feel i'm different compare to past few years. haha, they said i'm more mature and charming! oh my, i'm so happy. haha.. well, everyone like to be praise by others. can't help. after that, we went ipoh. was wondering why my great grandfather and great grandmother be buried at different places. just don't understand until daddy told me cause great grandmother is a vegetarian. that still doesn't make much sense to me. anyway, my brother and i just have to know the procedure and stuff to do. nowadays people don't really take 'Qing Ming' serious. i mean, it is chinese custom. on 'Qing Ming' , every descendants have to gather and pay their respect to ancestors. i will cancel everything to go for this chinese custom. it's something i think all of us should be doing. ^^ yes, sorry honey bee for canceling our date. after bidor, we went ipoh. you wouldn't believe. i saw my ex there, at that kind of place. mother, aunt may peng and i got ourselves 2 redbeans ice-cream. its delicious. we bought for brother and my cousins as well. i helped to burn those 'stuff' we bought for great grandmother. its so warm there, heat!! when i stepped out, everyone were laughing as my cheeks blushed. as in, really pinkish red ! hahaha. that's just me. i don't need cosmetics. well, i do need. i need lip gloss and eyebrow liner. that's all i need. haha. basically, people are seeing the original me everyday. hardly see me with make up. well, that's just me. hahah, the ugly one. that's the reason i'm not hot chica. not hot, not pretty, not gorgeous. and definitely not bimbos.
love loads.
phew. i'm super exhausted. was at bidor and ipoh the whole morning. well, actually the whole day. *grin* woke up around 5.30 in the morning. uncle richard and aunt may peng reached and followed us to bidor. 'Qing Ming' suppose to be on 5th of April but we went earlier because we have to go nilai on that day, my grandfather. 'Qing Ming' is a day when one pays respect to a dead person at his tomb. bidor is where i pay my respect to my great grandfather. relatives feel i'm different compare to past few years. haha, they said i'm more mature and charming! oh my, i'm so happy. haha.. well, everyone like to be praise by others. can't help. after that, we went ipoh. was wondering why my great grandfather and great grandmother be buried at different places. just don't understand until daddy told me cause great grandmother is a vegetarian. that still doesn't make much sense to me. anyway, my brother and i just have to know the procedure and stuff to do. nowadays people don't really take 'Qing Ming' serious. i mean, it is chinese custom. on 'Qing Ming' , every descendants have to gather and pay their respect to ancestors. i will cancel everything to go for this chinese custom. it's something i think all of us should be doing. ^^ yes, sorry honey bee for canceling our date. after bidor, we went ipoh. you wouldn't believe. i saw my ex there, at that kind of place. mother, aunt may peng and i got ourselves 2 redbeans ice-cream. its delicious. we bought for brother and my cousins as well. i helped to burn those 'stuff' we bought for great grandmother. its so warm there, heat!! when i stepped out, everyone were laughing as my cheeks blushed. as in, really pinkish red ! hahaha. that's just me. i don't need cosmetics. well, i do need. i need lip gloss and eyebrow liner. that's all i need. haha. basically, people are seeing the original me everyday. hardly see me with make up. well, that's just me. hahah, the ugly one. that's the reason i'm not hot chica. not hot, not pretty, not gorgeous. and definitely not bimbos.
oh my god ! michael murray is so hot. i mean, you see the way he smiles, the way he walks, the way he speaks and the most 'killing' part, the way he flirt ! his eyes are totally gorgeous. he's charming ! hahaha.. he'll be my third favourite after lee hom and jay chow. LOL. just wondering, why can a singer/ actor/ actress look so good, hot, charming, gorgeous? i mean, you see.. malaysia's actor/singer/actress are so not hot. no offence but its true, isn't it? sigh. we're just unlucky. no hotties had the labels 'made by malaysia'. *smirking* besides, wondering if i'm the last who realize this, travis from blink 182's smallest tattoo is on the inside of his lip !! hahaha. i don't know this till tv hits told and check it out with few of my friends. i'm just so outdated.
p.s i bought north's straight up album. but haven't touch it. wuahaha. whatever. i'm lame.love loads.
Saturday
Nat's Right
songs showing on my ipod : kiss goodbye, lee hom
what a tedious weekend for me. i mean, can you imagine? sun-shining on saturday, a stupid black with a lil dark brown hair lady on sofas for more than 4 hours, switching the channel for 368376times (well maybe not that much, but definitely around 10times), having domino's beef pepperoni thin crust ( no chicken, birdflu ). isn't that 'great' enough? in fact, i suppose to be out in the morning for a movie but instead, i over slept. thank you sweetie for not waking me up, but we've missed the movie! so what have i done the whole day, well maybe not the whole but half of it.
i watched the commonwealth game 2006 my bros recorded for me. oh my god, i can't believe its happening, wong chong hann & lee chung wei both won in the semis and now they will be having a tough match this sunday! yea~ finals for badminton single, malaysia v malaysia. and beside this, since when malaysia's diving are getting better? you should watch how yeoh ken nee got the cheers and supports when he finish his diving and got the silver medal. too bad he's sick, i'm sure he could have done better in the other diving events. too bad. besides, i watched american idols that andy recorded for me. thanks a lot, andy! so, paris, catherine are staying for next week. poor kelvin the chicken little. he's leaving the american idols. too bad. he sang 'when i fall in love' again before the whole thing ended, well this time he caught it, i mean he actually gave the feelings, the falling in love feelings. too bad he's not staying but anyway, he's only sixteen! long way to go.
thanks nat for advising me. and yea~ i think she's right. there's really no need and i need not react on what that particular individual who had different viewpoint from others. anyway, he's still an anonymous right? or maybe, he's still a stranger to me. cause my friends would have know me well to realize i'm not what he said. haha. whatever it is. earnestly, thanks to my friends especially charlynne, billy, joanne, andy, edmon, and not forget my honey bee, derek. i got their back to support me! that's more than enough.
gone through every details of university in melbourne. and i decided one of them. so i will be leaving around june. class will be starting on 13 june. so prolly leaving around 5th. sorry my friends for not telling you guys. i just don't know how to let you guys know. anyway, i need to put more effort, hard and tough 8months foundation before entering the international business course. god bless ! wishing everything will be fine. well, at least not making me headache.
p.s you look cool with that hair. don't worry. cheers.
love loads.
what a tedious weekend for me. i mean, can you imagine? sun-shining on saturday, a stupid black with a lil dark brown hair lady on sofas for more than 4 hours, switching the channel for 368376times (well maybe not that much, but definitely around 10times), having domino's beef pepperoni thin crust ( no chicken, birdflu ). isn't that 'great' enough? in fact, i suppose to be out in the morning for a movie but instead, i over slept. thank you sweetie for not waking me up, but we've missed the movie! so what have i done the whole day, well maybe not the whole but half of it.
i watched the commonwealth game 2006 my bros recorded for me. oh my god, i can't believe its happening, wong chong hann & lee chung wei both won in the semis and now they will be having a tough match this sunday! yea~ finals for badminton single, malaysia v malaysia. and beside this, since when malaysia's diving are getting better? you should watch how yeoh ken nee got the cheers and supports when he finish his diving and got the silver medal. too bad he's sick, i'm sure he could have done better in the other diving events. too bad. besides, i watched american idols that andy recorded for me. thanks a lot, andy! so, paris, catherine are staying for next week. poor kelvin the chicken little. he's leaving the american idols. too bad. he sang 'when i fall in love' again before the whole thing ended, well this time he caught it, i mean he actually gave the feelings, the falling in love feelings. too bad he's not staying but anyway, he's only sixteen! long way to go.
thanks nat for advising me. and yea~ i think she's right. there's really no need and i need not react on what that particular individual who had different viewpoint from others. anyway, he's still an anonymous right? or maybe, he's still a stranger to me. cause my friends would have know me well to realize i'm not what he said. haha. whatever it is. earnestly, thanks to my friends especially charlynne, billy, joanne, andy, edmon, and not forget my honey bee, derek. i got their back to support me! that's more than enough.
gone through every details of university in melbourne. and i decided one of them. so i will be leaving around june. class will be starting on 13 june. so prolly leaving around 5th. sorry my friends for not telling you guys. i just don't know how to let you guys know. anyway, i need to put more effort, hard and tough 8months foundation before entering the international business course. god bless ! wishing everything will be fine. well, at least not making me headache.
p.s you look cool with that hair. don't worry. cheers.
love loads.
Friday
Shame On You
song showing on my ipod : eyes on me by faye wong.
haha. here i am after few days not bloging. i'm getting a little inactive in blogging in the past few days. lol. nevertheless, i found myself interested in blogging. not to say i'm talkative or nothing better to do, but i just simply enjoy writing what's happening, or sharing stuff. i'm not hoping to be like the mini-celeb of blogger, xiaxue. but i just got my readers. haha. happy enough. and i think blogging make me feel better when i'm stress out..sometimes something happen just like that, and you don't feel like speaking it face to face. so, blog !! it's one of the way to express. and you got to believe this, it works! at least, on me.
so what's happening lately?
i quit a levels at help and start working with my parents, family business. haha.. but trust me, its not like what you saw in the tv, its just a small business. and what i'm doing every weekdays are to be a professional driver and office girl. yes! hell right. i have to wake up early like after 5 before 6 in the morning. go for a jog with my mother, don't get it wrong! i'm not blaming or complaining. in fact, i enjoyed a lot. we had a lot of private conversation, some ladies talk. beside, i put on weight, jogging helps to burn my fats ! after that, i bath and drive my sister to school. then, office hour as usual. daily-routine. trust me, to be a student is really an easy job.
and now? today? there's a jerk trying to pull me down. charlynne, thanks a lot. your sms means a lot to me. haha. should i just post it here?? yes! of course i should. proud of it. thanks to my buddy.
charlynne : hey babe. i think you're very sporting, easy to get along with, very helpful too. you treat others equally, don't look down on people. and obviously, you have your own way of looking at things, not necessary the same way that others look at it, but that's your own perception. don't let people put you down, they don't understand.
derek : hey sugar baby, don't worry much. i think you're a great girl, lovely chic, understanding and caring. you're loving and appreciative. a great friend and of course a wonderful girlfriend. you're just so different from others. mature, cute, loving, charming, and you're totally hot ! and sometimes it burns. haha. don't let that jerk put you in bad mood, that's so not you. xoxo.
oh my god ! charlynne, thank you for supporting. and derek, you're so sweet. thanks a lot. hahaha. mwahx. love 'em. love all my friends. cheers. oh gosh, wish there's chivas now, and i'll definitely enjoy it with my buddies. yea, i'm annoyed by this jerk. not exactly annoyed, but i just need to voice it out. just in case he thought i'm coward, and might keep disturbing my life.
jerk : full of disappointment on you gal ! you don't appreciate what you have till it is gone! you hurt people, i'm sure that this is pay back to you! good luck in life! you think more on yourself! you don't care about the other side. i personally thinks that what you did before is wrong! just look at your current condition~ how many friends turn their backs on you?
what-so-ever! like i care.
what's wrong with him? well, i don't care much bout that. actually, the main point i'm talking bout it here is not because i'm angry or anything but its the matter of dignity. earnestly, i don't get it. he's the only one saying i'm selfish? self-centered? so far, he's the only one. in his viewpoint, conjecturing i'm selfish & self-centered. my god !! he's pretending that he knew me well ? understand me ? haha. he thought i'm suffering and crying cause of my first boyfriend, and he believes it is all because i don't know how to appreciate when i had. he even think that i take hurting people as an entertainment. that's why i'm now regretting, suffering, unhappy are what i get in returns. my goodness! but he made a point. i agreed that things go around, come around. you'll get what you've given later on in your life in different ways. which prolly unexpected. oh ya right, thanks for telling me things i knew since i'm 12. beside that, sorry to say, he's offensive and i'm offended. its so not right to judge or value someone when you merely know them. that's just so stupid. i'm not like those bimbos out there. i got brain. i got attitude. i got my way. i got my style. i won't force any of you out there to agree with me, cause i know everyone got their own way to handle things and own perception on things. but at least, try to sit down, relax and talk to me if you really think i'm wrong at point. i'm open to listen any comments and opinion even though it might not be a nice one. people might think i'm a little over react on this particular thing he'd done. maybe i should just calm and cool, saying ''whatever'' or ''so what?''. *smirking*. but that's just so not me, i can't zipped up my mouth just like that. no way ! definitely, i won't say i'm 100% not selfish. that's just bullshit if i do so. but i do appreciate what i am having. everyone are like that ok. no matter how selfish - free they seems to be. somehow, the selfishness are deep down inside them. i treated my family, friends and others good. unless they've done something offended me. even to my ex-es. i appreciate them a lot. even i appreciate, doesn't mean i must love them. i'd tried my best to fall in love with them everytime i'm with a guy. i tried. and you can't blame me when i failed to do so. maybe i'm wrong in the first place to even accept them. but think about it. at least we tried to make things work. maybe some of you might think i'm such a player, but who can judge it? i do think i'm playful, and i'd changed a few boyfriends within years. but it doesn't mean i don't take love serious, right? its just the way and perceptions on love seems to be different.
p.s hope you're feeling better. be happy. cheers.
love loads.
haha. here i am after few days not bloging. i'm getting a little inactive in blogging in the past few days. lol. nevertheless, i found myself interested in blogging. not to say i'm talkative or nothing better to do, but i just simply enjoy writing what's happening, or sharing stuff. i'm not hoping to be like the mini-celeb of blogger, xiaxue. but i just got my readers. haha. happy enough. and i think blogging make me feel better when i'm stress out..sometimes something happen just like that, and you don't feel like speaking it face to face. so, blog !! it's one of the way to express. and you got to believe this, it works! at least, on me.
so what's happening lately?
i quit a levels at help and start working with my parents, family business. haha.. but trust me, its not like what you saw in the tv, its just a small business. and what i'm doing every weekdays are to be a professional driver and office girl. yes! hell right. i have to wake up early like after 5 before 6 in the morning. go for a jog with my mother, don't get it wrong! i'm not blaming or complaining. in fact, i enjoyed a lot. we had a lot of private conversation, some ladies talk. beside, i put on weight, jogging helps to burn my fats ! after that, i bath and drive my sister to school. then, office hour as usual. daily-routine. trust me, to be a student is really an easy job.
and now? today? there's a jerk trying to pull me down. charlynne, thanks a lot. your sms means a lot to me. haha. should i just post it here?? yes! of course i should. proud of it. thanks to my buddy.
charlynne : hey babe. i think you're very sporting, easy to get along with, very helpful too. you treat others equally, don't look down on people. and obviously, you have your own way of looking at things, not necessary the same way that others look at it, but that's your own perception. don't let people put you down, they don't understand.
derek : hey sugar baby, don't worry much. i think you're a great girl, lovely chic, understanding and caring. you're loving and appreciative. a great friend and of course a wonderful girlfriend. you're just so different from others. mature, cute, loving, charming, and you're totally hot ! and sometimes it burns. haha. don't let that jerk put you in bad mood, that's so not you. xoxo.
oh my god ! charlynne, thank you for supporting. and derek, you're so sweet. thanks a lot. hahaha. mwahx. love 'em. love all my friends. cheers. oh gosh, wish there's chivas now, and i'll definitely enjoy it with my buddies. yea, i'm annoyed by this jerk. not exactly annoyed, but i just need to voice it out. just in case he thought i'm coward, and might keep disturbing my life.
jerk : full of disappointment on you gal ! you don't appreciate what you have till it is gone! you hurt people, i'm sure that this is pay back to you! good luck in life! you think more on yourself! you don't care about the other side. i personally thinks that what you did before is wrong! just look at your current condition~ how many friends turn their backs on you?
what-so-ever! like i care.
what's wrong with him? well, i don't care much bout that. actually, the main point i'm talking bout it here is not because i'm angry or anything but its the matter of dignity. earnestly, i don't get it. he's the only one saying i'm selfish? self-centered? so far, he's the only one. in his viewpoint, conjecturing i'm selfish & self-centered. my god !! he's pretending that he knew me well ? understand me ? haha. he thought i'm suffering and crying cause of my first boyfriend, and he believes it is all because i don't know how to appreciate when i had. he even think that i take hurting people as an entertainment. that's why i'm now regretting, suffering, unhappy are what i get in returns. my goodness! but he made a point. i agreed that things go around, come around. you'll get what you've given later on in your life in different ways. which prolly unexpected. oh ya right, thanks for telling me things i knew since i'm 12. beside that, sorry to say, he's offensive and i'm offended. its so not right to judge or value someone when you merely know them. that's just so stupid. i'm not like those bimbos out there. i got brain. i got attitude. i got my way. i got my style. i won't force any of you out there to agree with me, cause i know everyone got their own way to handle things and own perception on things. but at least, try to sit down, relax and talk to me if you really think i'm wrong at point. i'm open to listen any comments and opinion even though it might not be a nice one. people might think i'm a little over react on this particular thing he'd done. maybe i should just calm and cool, saying ''whatever'' or ''so what?''. *smirking*. but that's just so not me, i can't zipped up my mouth just like that. no way ! definitely, i won't say i'm 100% not selfish. that's just bullshit if i do so. but i do appreciate what i am having. everyone are like that ok. no matter how selfish - free they seems to be. somehow, the selfishness are deep down inside them. i treated my family, friends and others good. unless they've done something offended me. even to my ex-es. i appreciate them a lot. even i appreciate, doesn't mean i must love them. i'd tried my best to fall in love with them everytime i'm with a guy. i tried. and you can't blame me when i failed to do so. maybe i'm wrong in the first place to even accept them. but think about it. at least we tried to make things work. maybe some of you might think i'm such a player, but who can judge it? i do think i'm playful, and i'd changed a few boyfriends within years. but it doesn't mean i don't take love serious, right? its just the way and perceptions on love seems to be different.
p.s hope you're feeling better. be happy. cheers.
love loads.
Sunday
Read Her Blog
i'm now listening 'taste', sang by 'shin xiao qi'.
read claudia's blog few minutes ago.
maybe she might think i'm not respecting love, not loyal or anything.
whatever she wanna think or comment about me.
cause me myself know, i'm definitely not. i respect love.
in my life, well maybe not long, only 18years.
but i've tried different kind of relationship.
with sam, my first and biggest crush. that's when i'm seriously in love.
he's someone i'm willing to fall, willing to wait and feel pity after that.
with loong, he's someone that really nice to me,
but reason we broke up, cause i don't wanna fall in love with him,
i don't feel like letting go my previous relationship.
with fai, both of us just needed someone at the moment,
both enjoy being together, the mistake is, we thought our friendship can be love.
with jun, thought i can enjoy the relationship. but we just don't suit each other.
with ky, haha. we just good being friends than anything. my bbf, best boy friend.
with jack, he care about me, he loves me lots. but i'm just not ready to fall in love.
with leon, sorry that he left without a single word. will be missing him, as a friend.
and now, with derek, he's understanding, loving, caring as well.
after all this while, i found myself turning back to u-know-who. but i'm trying,
i'm trying real hard not to get involve with this kind of relationship.
i don't want to be third party, don't want to be the third person in a relationship.
so.. i pulled out. for god's sake, derek is here.
he understand my situation, and suggested to give a try.
he wanted to try, to see if he can pull me out of that situation.
i know my friends, might think i'm cheap, might think i'm not serious..
but, girls and boys.. put yourself in my situation.
i'm not you, i've gone through lots and different relationship. i know myself.
when i'm in a relationship, i'll enjoy myself. the problem is, can i really enjoy.
i don't know. i seriously don't know. i don't want to commit myself now.
i know, i've seen different relationship happening around me.
commitment can be broken. promises can be broken.
who on earth can give me the confidence and trust in a relationship again?
i'm not looking for lasting love. i'm looking for happiness, memories & unforgettable.
am i wrong ? maybe i'm . maybe a relationship should look for forever in the first place.
but it just don't work on me. i'll be feeling pressure. unless, i know i love.
so far, the one i know i love and willing to remain forever, doesn't belongs to me.
what i can do now? only searching the next one. trying to fall in love.
don't blame me if i failed. cause i tried very best. i tried my very best.
ps. same old me. maybe i'm different, but my heart still the same. but i'll try to put it down, change another heart. goodbye, my love.
love loads,
wei-wei
read claudia's blog few minutes ago.
maybe she might think i'm not respecting love, not loyal or anything.
whatever she wanna think or comment about me.
cause me myself know, i'm definitely not. i respect love.
in my life, well maybe not long, only 18years.
but i've tried different kind of relationship.
with sam, my first and biggest crush. that's when i'm seriously in love.
he's someone i'm willing to fall, willing to wait and feel pity after that.
with loong, he's someone that really nice to me,
but reason we broke up, cause i don't wanna fall in love with him,
i don't feel like letting go my previous relationship.
with fai, both of us just needed someone at the moment,
both enjoy being together, the mistake is, we thought our friendship can be love.
with jun, thought i can enjoy the relationship. but we just don't suit each other.
with ky, haha. we just good being friends than anything. my bbf, best boy friend.
with jack, he care about me, he loves me lots. but i'm just not ready to fall in love.
with leon, sorry that he left without a single word. will be missing him, as a friend.
and now, with derek, he's understanding, loving, caring as well.
after all this while, i found myself turning back to u-know-who. but i'm trying,
i'm trying real hard not to get involve with this kind of relationship.
i don't want to be third party, don't want to be the third person in a relationship.
so.. i pulled out. for god's sake, derek is here.
he understand my situation, and suggested to give a try.
he wanted to try, to see if he can pull me out of that situation.
i know my friends, might think i'm cheap, might think i'm not serious..
but, girls and boys.. put yourself in my situation.
i'm not you, i've gone through lots and different relationship. i know myself.
when i'm in a relationship, i'll enjoy myself. the problem is, can i really enjoy.
i don't know. i seriously don't know. i don't want to commit myself now.
i know, i've seen different relationship happening around me.
commitment can be broken. promises can be broken.
who on earth can give me the confidence and trust in a relationship again?
i'm not looking for lasting love. i'm looking for happiness, memories & unforgettable.
am i wrong ? maybe i'm . maybe a relationship should look for forever in the first place.
but it just don't work on me. i'll be feeling pressure. unless, i know i love.
so far, the one i know i love and willing to remain forever, doesn't belongs to me.
what i can do now? only searching the next one. trying to fall in love.
don't blame me if i failed. cause i tried very best. i tried my very best.
ps. same old me. maybe i'm different, but my heart still the same. but i'll try to put it down, change another heart. goodbye, my love.
love loads,
wei-wei
So true
Read Each One Carefully and ThinkAbout It a Second or Two
1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am
when I am with you..
2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is,
won't make you cry.
3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to,
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
4. A true friend is someone who reaches for yourhand and touches your heart.
5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them
knowing you can' t have them
6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know
who is falling in love with your smile.
7. To the world you may be one person,
but to one person you may be the world.
8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman,
who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one,
so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do
is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.
12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are
before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.
13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.
1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am
when I am with you..
2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is,
won't make you cry.
3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to,
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
4. A true friend is someone who reaches for yourhand and touches your heart.
5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them
knowing you can' t have them
6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know
who is falling in love with your smile.
7. To the world you may be one person,
but to one person you may be the world.
8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman,
who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one,
so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do
is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.
12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are
before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.
13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.
Third Party
i'm now listening to 'third party', sang by fish leung.
went out with a friend in the afternoon.
i don't know if i'm doing the right one, or i've chosen the wrong way.
i don't know if i will <3>
seriously no idea at all. if i can take a pick on it, i wish i <3.
accepting this relationship, i knew i'm doing something uncool.
i understand myself too well. i need something to make myself busy.
i started to read up my english legal system and even some mandarin novels.
even worst, i got myself into this relationship which is unnecessary.
using him to forget the pain isn't a good way, in fact a bad one.
but i'm just simply too stupid to do it again, after 3years.
3years ago, i've done something like this, and the victim is loong.
now? again. same case. same people. different time. different reason.
but same pick, same choice, same way of solving. i know, that's so not me.
to all my friends, i'm sorry if i let you down by doing this.
cross my heart, i'll try my best to enjoy this relationship. really.
my friends thought i'm tough enough to handle everything,
thought that i'm that calm and cool while facing love and relationship.
well, maybe they are right. i'm calm and cool when i'm facing someone,
someone that love me more than i do, someone i don't really care.
but sorry my friends, i disappoint you. this time, i'm facing someone different.
someone that i love him more than he does, someone i care but he doesn't,
someone who doesn't belongs to me in the first place. i know its stupid.
i just can't help. sorry to admit that, i still love him.
anyway, i'll still try my very best to enjoy this relationship i'm having with derek.
he's a nice guy. hopefully, his ending won't be like loong. just.. let it be.
i'm not sure if accepting will be hurting. told him my problem, he understand.
in fact, he suggested me to give him a chance. give a try to see if he can do it.
yea~ derek, i know you're trying your best to fight with u-know-who. thanks.
i seriously like you. really. enjoy going pet house with you. ^^
was thinking about third party before writing this.
some of my friend, even me myself had experience
on third party intervene our relationship. is that sad ? well. depends.
people always thought the third person who intervene a relationship
is someone bad, some bitch or anything you would like to call.
but is that really their fault? i don't think so.
everything happen in two ways. there must be a positive side,
and the negative one which always seems to be troubling.
will anyone think about it when there's third person interrupt their relationship?
as in, is the third person fault, or the relationship itself already having problem?
if there's no problem in between this two lovely couple, why is there a chance?
why is there a chance for third party to get involve? think about it people.
don't blame the third party, complaining or hating them for snatching your love one.
in other way, both of you might have the same taste, or your love one really good
enough to attract people. only if you know how to handle your love one.
having third person involving in a relationship isn't a good thing, at all.
love involve 2 person, but if there is an extra one. it becomes complicated.
but if they love each other deeply, there's no reason for the third person
to get involve. and i believe, if the couple loving each other sweetly, passion and deep,
i believe the third party won't be that cruel to breaks off such lovely couple.
don't you agree with me?
ps. i still miss you, still loving you. and still.. you don't know. sigh.
love loads,
wei-wei
went out with a friend in the afternoon.
i don't know if i'm doing the right one, or i've chosen the wrong way.
i don't know if i will <3>
seriously no idea at all. if i can take a pick on it, i wish i <3.
accepting this relationship, i knew i'm doing something uncool.
i understand myself too well. i need something to make myself busy.
i started to read up my english legal system and even some mandarin novels.
even worst, i got myself into this relationship which is unnecessary.
using him to forget the pain isn't a good way, in fact a bad one.
but i'm just simply too stupid to do it again, after 3years.
3years ago, i've done something like this, and the victim is loong.
now? again. same case. same people. different time. different reason.
but same pick, same choice, same way of solving. i know, that's so not me.
to all my friends, i'm sorry if i let you down by doing this.
cross my heart, i'll try my best to enjoy this relationship. really.
my friends thought i'm tough enough to handle everything,
thought that i'm that calm and cool while facing love and relationship.
well, maybe they are right. i'm calm and cool when i'm facing someone,
someone that love me more than i do, someone i don't really care.
but sorry my friends, i disappoint you. this time, i'm facing someone different.
someone that i love him more than he does, someone i care but he doesn't,
someone who doesn't belongs to me in the first place. i know its stupid.
i just can't help. sorry to admit that, i still love him.
anyway, i'll still try my very best to enjoy this relationship i'm having with derek.
he's a nice guy. hopefully, his ending won't be like loong. just.. let it be.
i'm not sure if accepting will be hurting. told him my problem, he understand.
in fact, he suggested me to give him a chance. give a try to see if he can do it.
yea~ derek, i know you're trying your best to fight with u-know-who. thanks.
i seriously like you. really. enjoy going pet house with you. ^^
was thinking about third party before writing this.
some of my friend, even me myself had experience
on third party intervene our relationship. is that sad ? well. depends.
people always thought the third person who intervene a relationship
is someone bad, some bitch or anything you would like to call.
but is that really their fault? i don't think so.
everything happen in two ways. there must be a positive side,
and the negative one which always seems to be troubling.
will anyone think about it when there's third person interrupt their relationship?
as in, is the third person fault, or the relationship itself already having problem?
if there's no problem in between this two lovely couple, why is there a chance?
why is there a chance for third party to get involve? think about it people.
don't blame the third party, complaining or hating them for snatching your love one.
in other way, both of you might have the same taste, or your love one really good
enough to attract people. only if you know how to handle your love one.
having third person involving in a relationship isn't a good thing, at all.
love involve 2 person, but if there is an extra one. it becomes complicated.
but if they love each other deeply, there's no reason for the third person
to get involve. and i believe, if the couple loving each other sweetly, passion and deep,
i believe the third party won't be that cruel to breaks off such lovely couple.
don't you agree with me?
ps. i still miss you, still loving you. and still.. you don't know. sigh.
love loads,
wei-wei
Friday
Marriage
i'm now listening 'without you' sang by mariah carey.
was watching some hong kong drama.
it's about legal studies and actions. i'm really interested in knowing it.
but too bad, i gave up studying law. instead, i choose business.
law is an interesting subject to study, to explore.
i'm not going to give up knowing law, will brush up a little by myself.
i'm pretty sure. my buddies will not be stingy to give me a hand if i need.
LOL. this drama is just simply so my type. it made me laugh, and touched.
in the story line of this drama, this lovely couple are having problems.
she doesn't realize the husband is good enough to actually pamper her
like a princess, like a queen. she just doesn't know how to appreciate him.
she feels that he's not good enough, she realize he can't catch up her steps.
as this young lady, she's a lawyer like her husband, but she's way active.
she is some sort of top superwomen, someone who really into work.
and this husband, he's a really nice man. he's actually what a women need.
well, not romantic enough. but he's sweet, and stuff he'd done, actually touching.
only if his wife could see it in different way. he is mature. he's not as active,
not as emotional as his wife. they just simply losing some sort of click.
and here come the third party. he intervene their relationship. and causes..
the break of this marriage. causes this lovely couple to be part off.
i'm wondering when i saw this situation. is love that easy to be interrupts?
everyone is looking for lasting love, and if love are easily to be broken..
how is there a possibility for someone, anyone to find their true love?
before getting married. before saying 'i do' in front of everyone, even the god.
they promised to spend rest of their life together, isn't it?
no matter sickness, poor, even death. they'll face it together.
they promised isn't it ? i thought marriage should be forever. not to say i'm old fashion.
i just don't understand. why can people treat marriage like taking fast food.
before marriage, things are fine for me. but marriage!! its a kind of commitment.
you commit yourself to somebody you know you'd love to spend your life with,
and both of you promised and choose to be with each other, legally.
if is like that, why are there divorce happening around us ?
people are so not responsible to stuff they'd promised.
losing confidence on marriage? yea~ a little.
that's why, i'm not going to commit myself in a real serious relationship.
unless i know, he's the one i wanted. and i'm the one he's been looking for.
prefer a casual relationship. than one who's always looking forward for lasting.
how would we know what's going to happen next ?
how the hell are you going to promise you'll love someone forever
when you don't know what will happen next ?
there is no such thing as forever, isn't it ? unless, you're married.
before marriage, everything are just memories of yours.
you'll soon forget everything as you'll soon get someone to replace him/her.
but after marriage, she/he is someone really close to you. or i should say
he/she is part of your life. and you love each other deeply. at this stage,
i'll believe you're going to love him/her forever. as you know, you'll miss deadly.
somehow, things happening around are just not like what i thought it should be.
people changing. the world is changing. or maybe, i'm changing.
ps. i miss you loads, love you loads. but you just don't know. and i'm going to do what i suppose to. goodbye, my love.
love loads,
wei-wei
was watching some hong kong drama.
it's about legal studies and actions. i'm really interested in knowing it.
but too bad, i gave up studying law. instead, i choose business.
law is an interesting subject to study, to explore.
i'm not going to give up knowing law, will brush up a little by myself.
i'm pretty sure. my buddies will not be stingy to give me a hand if i need.
LOL. this drama is just simply so my type. it made me laugh, and touched.
in the story line of this drama, this lovely couple are having problems.
she doesn't realize the husband is good enough to actually pamper her
like a princess, like a queen. she just doesn't know how to appreciate him.
she feels that he's not good enough, she realize he can't catch up her steps.
as this young lady, she's a lawyer like her husband, but she's way active.
she is some sort of top superwomen, someone who really into work.
and this husband, he's a really nice man. he's actually what a women need.
well, not romantic enough. but he's sweet, and stuff he'd done, actually touching.
only if his wife could see it in different way. he is mature. he's not as active,
not as emotional as his wife. they just simply losing some sort of click.
and here come the third party. he intervene their relationship. and causes..
the break of this marriage. causes this lovely couple to be part off.
i'm wondering when i saw this situation. is love that easy to be interrupts?
everyone is looking for lasting love, and if love are easily to be broken..
how is there a possibility for someone, anyone to find their true love?
before getting married. before saying 'i do' in front of everyone, even the god.
they promised to spend rest of their life together, isn't it?
no matter sickness, poor, even death. they'll face it together.
they promised isn't it ? i thought marriage should be forever. not to say i'm old fashion.
i just don't understand. why can people treat marriage like taking fast food.
before marriage, things are fine for me. but marriage!! its a kind of commitment.
you commit yourself to somebody you know you'd love to spend your life with,
and both of you promised and choose to be with each other, legally.
if is like that, why are there divorce happening around us ?
people are so not responsible to stuff they'd promised.
losing confidence on marriage? yea~ a little.
that's why, i'm not going to commit myself in a real serious relationship.
unless i know, he's the one i wanted. and i'm the one he's been looking for.
prefer a casual relationship. than one who's always looking forward for lasting.
how would we know what's going to happen next ?
how the hell are you going to promise you'll love someone forever
when you don't know what will happen next ?
there is no such thing as forever, isn't it ? unless, you're married.
before marriage, everything are just memories of yours.
you'll soon forget everything as you'll soon get someone to replace him/her.
but after marriage, she/he is someone really close to you. or i should say
he/she is part of your life. and you love each other deeply. at this stage,
i'll believe you're going to love him/her forever. as you know, you'll miss deadly.
somehow, things happening around are just not like what i thought it should be.
people changing. the world is changing. or maybe, i'm changing.
ps. i miss you loads, love you loads. but you just don't know. and i'm going to do what i suppose to. goodbye, my love.
love loads,
wei-wei
Lazy Me
im now listening 'boyfriend' sang by ashlee simpson
wow. checked the date i last posted. its monday, and now ? friday.
hahah. these days, i'm just simply lazy, and busy.
what's happening around, seems don't really bother me.
i'm living in my world, my own precious wonderful dream.
it ain't something to be happy. it is not a good thing to live in memories.
anyway, here i am. to update my fellow friends, and also silent readers.
i'm not at home since 14th of march till yesterday which is the 16th.
was at renaissance hotel for 3days 2night. hahaa, sound like a trip or something.
but yea, i stayed at the hotel for 3 days 2 night.
14th was my brother's birthday. he turn seventeen now. *laugh*
nothing much happen in the hotel. except i met this really cool mat-salleh.
he's from england. and he missed the formula 1 at sepang. hahaha.
my brother, sister and i went for swimming. having fun.
and i'm dare enough to wear my roxy bikini. hahaha. daring huh?
but i'm not as fat as i thought, or maybe i lose weight. it fitted quite well.
i even stay at the pool side for sun bathing. my god! i'm not tanned enough.
i mean, only realize when i wore my bikini. skin around my chest are so fair.
it doesn't suit me at all. so i decided to make it tan a little. but..
just can't stand the sun. and the ultra-violet as well. chiaoz after 10 minutes.
i started to write unsent letter few days ago. and also some articles.
planning to send it to the newspaper. giving a try haha.. maybe i'm a potential writer.
missing him so much. and when all my thoughts about him changed into words, it helps.
i mean, i actually feel better. not that lost. yea~
i know i shouldn't think so much about him, but i just can't help.
and even though he doesn't belongs to me, i'm not hurt or what.
well, maybe a little pity and sad, but hey! i face it tough and bold.
no regrets falling for him but actually i'm happy to be like that.
i realize having someone you really love are something blissful
and it brighten up my life, my entire dull life without seriously loving someone.
so guess what? i just don't give a damn if he's still in love with me or what.
i'm just going to love the way i love him. its like, its my business!! hahaha..
i got my friends behind to back me up. to support me. so what am i waiting for?
i just have to move on. do stuff i like without hurting anyone. that's all!!
well, i sound a little like bitch? maybe.. who cares anyway!
i'm just being myself. as in i don't wanna force myself not to love somebody
i already in love with. that's harsh. and i can smell it, that's bitter.
heard may and choy saying the concert held in taiwan.
my god!!! i can't believe i missed it. sigh. am so sad.
my lovely lee hom!!! he's like the gorgeous guy ever.
anyway, he's coming malaysia. and i'm sure there will be concert too.
so i'm just not going to miss it anymore! its a big no for that.
he took his shirt off in the taiwan concert. my goodness.
he's just hot, cute, gentle, gorgeous, talented etc etc.
that's why i love him so much.. hahahaa.
not to say i don't love jay. jay chow is good as well.
but i just love lee hom more than jay chow. hahaha
lee hom come first, then jay!! mwahxx..
p/s: darlyn.. i miss you loads.. and love you loads.
love loads,
wei-wei
wow. checked the date i last posted. its monday, and now ? friday.
hahah. these days, i'm just simply lazy, and busy.
what's happening around, seems don't really bother me.
i'm living in my world, my own precious wonderful dream.
it ain't something to be happy. it is not a good thing to live in memories.
anyway, here i am. to update my fellow friends, and also silent readers.
i'm not at home since 14th of march till yesterday which is the 16th.
was at renaissance hotel for 3days 2night. hahaa, sound like a trip or something.
but yea, i stayed at the hotel for 3 days 2 night.
14th was my brother's birthday. he turn seventeen now. *laugh*
nothing much happen in the hotel. except i met this really cool mat-salleh.
he's from england. and he missed the formula 1 at sepang. hahaha.
my brother, sister and i went for swimming. having fun.
and i'm dare enough to wear my roxy bikini. hahaha. daring huh?
but i'm not as fat as i thought, or maybe i lose weight. it fitted quite well.
i even stay at the pool side for sun bathing. my god! i'm not tanned enough.
i mean, only realize when i wore my bikini. skin around my chest are so fair.
it doesn't suit me at all. so i decided to make it tan a little. but..
just can't stand the sun. and the ultra-violet as well. chiaoz after 10 minutes.
i started to write unsent letter few days ago. and also some articles.
planning to send it to the newspaper. giving a try haha.. maybe i'm a potential writer.
missing him so much. and when all my thoughts about him changed into words, it helps.
i mean, i actually feel better. not that lost. yea~
i know i shouldn't think so much about him, but i just can't help.
and even though he doesn't belongs to me, i'm not hurt or what.
well, maybe a little pity and sad, but hey! i face it tough and bold.
no regrets falling for him but actually i'm happy to be like that.
i realize having someone you really love are something blissful
and it brighten up my life, my entire dull life without seriously loving someone.
so guess what? i just don't give a damn if he's still in love with me or what.
i'm just going to love the way i love him. its like, its my business!! hahaha..
i got my friends behind to back me up. to support me. so what am i waiting for?
i just have to move on. do stuff i like without hurting anyone. that's all!!
well, i sound a little like bitch? maybe.. who cares anyway!
i'm just being myself. as in i don't wanna force myself not to love somebody
i already in love with. that's harsh. and i can smell it, that's bitter.
heard may and choy saying the concert held in taiwan.
my god!!! i can't believe i missed it. sigh. am so sad.
my lovely lee hom!!! he's like the gorgeous guy ever.
anyway, he's coming malaysia. and i'm sure there will be concert too.
so i'm just not going to miss it anymore! its a big no for that.
he took his shirt off in the taiwan concert. my goodness.
he's just hot, cute, gentle, gorgeous, talented etc etc.
that's why i love him so much.. hahahaa.
not to say i don't love jay. jay chow is good as well.
but i just love lee hom more than jay chow. hahaha
lee hom come first, then jay!! mwahxx..
p/s: darlyn.. i miss you loads.. and love you loads.
love loads,
wei-wei
Monday
Back From Thai
i'm now listening 'heart of glass' by skye sweetnam.
was not around during the weekend. went thailand.
some people went thailand to pray, as the 'four faces god' are famous.
some went for shopping, thailand have the cheapest place to shop.
and some went for relaxation as they got the foot, body & arm massages.
well, as for me and my family.. our main purpose is to pray.
friday morning, checked in @ the novotel lotus hotel which is located at phrom phong.
phrom phong is the bts station and right opposite the road,
we've the emporium shopping complex.
went the foothall of emporium for lunch, the food were delicious!
you wouldn't get such standard in our country's foodcourt.
after lunch, i went to this department which is full of soft toys.
there's the place where i really lovin' it. hahah.
got myself a keychain dog with notes "i miss you".
its so cute.
night, we went 'sala daeng' for body massage @ bodytune.
and we walked around the night market @ silom.
saw the hongkong actor, 'lau ching wan' and his actress wife 'kwok ho meng' @ paragon.
yesterday morning, went 'chit lom' to pray the 'four faces god'.
unfortunately, we saw something that make me feeling sad the day.
during the praying ceremony, i heard someone scream.
so after that, i checked out what had happen. its an accident.
i saw the motor cyclist on the road without moving. guess something bad happen.
and i was right. he is dead. the bus bang him and he fell.
the saddess part is he die on spot. people used the newspaper to cover his body.
this was the first time i ever experienced. i mean seeing somebody die on spot,
cause of accident. its effected me quite a lot i guess.
starting to worry and think, if this thing happen on my friends, any of them..
how sad and hurt would it be. especially if it happens to someone i'm close,
or even someone i cares a lot. i seriously don't dare to imagine it.
before leaving the praying place which is not a temple, i prayed for him.
i mean i prayed for the motor cyclist that had passed away, and also his family.
hoping they will go through this sadness soon. and face it bold and tough.
so trip to thailand, i got myself stuff like :
.coupee *two key chain dog with ''miss you'' and ''love you''*
.sammy *brown doggy that blushing*
.roxy quarter pants
.watch
.bracelet
.tee shirt *police, f.b.i and estassy*
.man utd collar shirt
.gucci sun glasses
.special made button pin
.notes for car
.button clips
.heart shaped notes sticker
.candles with flavor
i'm feeling bad i didn't get anything for my friends. sorry.
but i didn't went to JJ market. was rushing to pray.
got my spm result. i would say it disappoint me a lot.
was expecting higher grades. but what to do, something over, its over.
so i'll just chuck the result slip over somewhere and move on my life.
hahah. that's so me! i mean, what to be sad over a piece of paper,
when you know you couldn't do much about it already ?
well, i am sad and disappointed but that don't stop me to be happy.
that's not the solid reason for me to be unhappy for more than an hour.
so, people!! just don't be too upset bout your result.
everything will be fine. you still get into college. so, chill.
was thinking if i'm doing the right thing now.
ahhaha, this is what i've been thinkin for the whole bloody week.
sigh. that's so sad. i got no life. so? sue me ! LOL.
anyway, i found a solution. i guess.
finally.
am not going to force myself or what, but i believe times can heal it.
i choose to be like that, so i'll take it no matter what.
am not going to be the 3rd party, i can't anyway. so just leave it.
things will fix by itself i guess.
was packing my stuff last night. and i found this box i kept for few years,
without touching it, cleaning it or even checking it out.
i saw letters inside. some from sam, some from pei huan, some from felicia
and even from mei xin and houi yun. those are stuff i kept few years ago.
it gave me an idea. and i started to do it .
i started to write unsent letters. letters won't be sent, and will always be so.
i wrote letters to u-know-who that might forever be unsent.
those letters are what i really want u-know-who to read and know,
but i just won't give it to him. well, maybe i will.
maybe the day i found myself tired of everything and willing to let go,
i'll just put everything in a box and give it to him. hopefully.
it just another way to express myself, so i won't be mentally disorder. haha..
i'm just stupid enough to choose this way,
as to go through things and situation i've gone through.
or maybe i should say, i thought i'd gone through.
just let it be. what is should or shouldn't be. LOL
grabbed something from a friend.
"do you really miss me at the happiest and most fulfilling times in your life?
just because you miss me when the world is quiet around you and
you feel alone doesn't mean you love me..
Is it real love? If it is true love, then it will always be there,
even when you try to convince your self that it is gone and try to move on..
you know it is still there...deep down inside you know it is still there..
sometimes a clip in a movie or a song trigger it all and
you are right back where you started, in the arms of the one you love..
only to know that I am not real any more , I am only a dream ,
I only live in your memories..forgive me that I am gone ..
You left me no choices.."
i seriously hope this situation will not falls on me. i don't want to be like it.
wishing not only living in your memories, but also the real life.
will this happen ? am i only your memories?
not even a single chance to be the one in real life?
i wouldn't want to ask you this if possible. i'm giving myself hope.
not sure if its just an empty hope, but at least, there's something i can dream of..
i know its stupid. but please don't be cruel. cruelty kills me.
i just need something to rely on. and i know, only you actually controlling it.
everything related you effected me, my emotion, my feelings, my thoughts.
you just make me lost control on myself. i just couldn't control.
i'm sorry. i'm sorry that, i love you.
love you loads.
lots of love,
wei-wei
was not around during the weekend. went thailand.
some people went thailand to pray, as the 'four faces god' are famous.
some went for shopping, thailand have the cheapest place to shop.
and some went for relaxation as they got the foot, body & arm massages.
well, as for me and my family.. our main purpose is to pray.
friday morning, checked in @ the novotel lotus hotel which is located at phrom phong.
phrom phong is the bts station and right opposite the road,
we've the emporium shopping complex.
went the foothall of emporium for lunch, the food were delicious!
you wouldn't get such standard in our country's foodcourt.
after lunch, i went to this department which is full of soft toys.
there's the place where i really lovin' it. hahah.
got myself a keychain dog with notes "i miss you".
its so cute.
night, we went 'sala daeng' for body massage @ bodytune.
and we walked around the night market @ silom.
saw the hongkong actor, 'lau ching wan' and his actress wife 'kwok ho meng' @ paragon.
yesterday morning, went 'chit lom' to pray the 'four faces god'.
unfortunately, we saw something that make me feeling sad the day.
during the praying ceremony, i heard someone scream.
so after that, i checked out what had happen. its an accident.
i saw the motor cyclist on the road without moving. guess something bad happen.
and i was right. he is dead. the bus bang him and he fell.
the saddess part is he die on spot. people used the newspaper to cover his body.
this was the first time i ever experienced. i mean seeing somebody die on spot,
cause of accident. its effected me quite a lot i guess.
starting to worry and think, if this thing happen on my friends, any of them..
how sad and hurt would it be. especially if it happens to someone i'm close,
or even someone i cares a lot. i seriously don't dare to imagine it.
before leaving the praying place which is not a temple, i prayed for him.
i mean i prayed for the motor cyclist that had passed away, and also his family.
hoping they will go through this sadness soon. and face it bold and tough.
so trip to thailand, i got myself stuff like :
.coupee *two key chain dog with ''miss you'' and ''love you''*
.sammy *brown doggy that blushing*
.roxy quarter pants
.watch
.bracelet
.tee shirt *police, f.b.i and estassy*
.man utd collar shirt
.gucci sun glasses
.special made button pin
.notes for car
.button clips
.heart shaped notes sticker
.candles with flavor
i'm feeling bad i didn't get anything for my friends. sorry.
but i didn't went to JJ market. was rushing to pray.
got my spm result. i would say it disappoint me a lot.
was expecting higher grades. but what to do, something over, its over.
so i'll just chuck the result slip over somewhere and move on my life.
hahah. that's so me! i mean, what to be sad over a piece of paper,
when you know you couldn't do much about it already ?
well, i am sad and disappointed but that don't stop me to be happy.
that's not the solid reason for me to be unhappy for more than an hour.
so, people!! just don't be too upset bout your result.
everything will be fine. you still get into college. so, chill.
was thinking if i'm doing the right thing now.
ahhaha, this is what i've been thinkin for the whole bloody week.
sigh. that's so sad. i got no life. so? sue me ! LOL.
anyway, i found a solution. i guess.
finally.
am not going to force myself or what, but i believe times can heal it.
i choose to be like that, so i'll take it no matter what.
am not going to be the 3rd party, i can't anyway. so just leave it.
things will fix by itself i guess.
was packing my stuff last night. and i found this box i kept for few years,
without touching it, cleaning it or even checking it out.
i saw letters inside. some from sam, some from pei huan, some from felicia
and even from mei xin and houi yun. those are stuff i kept few years ago.
it gave me an idea. and i started to do it .
i started to write unsent letters. letters won't be sent, and will always be so.
i wrote letters to u-know-who that might forever be unsent.
those letters are what i really want u-know-who to read and know,
but i just won't give it to him. well, maybe i will.
maybe the day i found myself tired of everything and willing to let go,
i'll just put everything in a box and give it to him. hopefully.
it just another way to express myself, so i won't be mentally disorder. haha..
i'm just stupid enough to choose this way,
as to go through things and situation i've gone through.
or maybe i should say, i thought i'd gone through.
just let it be. what is should or shouldn't be. LOL
grabbed something from a friend.
"do you really miss me at the happiest and most fulfilling times in your life?
just because you miss me when the world is quiet around you and
you feel alone doesn't mean you love me..
Is it real love? If it is true love, then it will always be there,
even when you try to convince your self that it is gone and try to move on..
you know it is still there...deep down inside you know it is still there..
sometimes a clip in a movie or a song trigger it all and
you are right back where you started, in the arms of the one you love..
only to know that I am not real any more , I am only a dream ,
I only live in your memories..forgive me that I am gone ..
You left me no choices.."
i seriously hope this situation will not falls on me. i don't want to be like it.
wishing not only living in your memories, but also the real life.
will this happen ? am i only your memories?
not even a single chance to be the one in real life?
i wouldn't want to ask you this if possible. i'm giving myself hope.
not sure if its just an empty hope, but at least, there's something i can dream of..
i know its stupid. but please don't be cruel. cruelty kills me.
i just need something to rely on. and i know, only you actually controlling it.
everything related you effected me, my emotion, my feelings, my thoughts.
you just make me lost control on myself. i just couldn't control.
i'm sorry. i'm sorry that, i love you.
love you loads.
lots of love,
wei-wei
Thursday
Turning Back To You
i'm now listening 'love is leaving' by BB Mark
woke up early in the morning..
well, i have to wake up around 5.45 every morning..
it's earlier than i used to be when i'm a student!
and its freezing outside. well, maybe not that cold..
but still, early in the morning. and i'm wearing jersey.
the wind blows, i felt cold. and it wakes me up! haha..
you wouldn't know if you never saw someone jogging and eyes shut.
mom was like, laughing all the way. keep pushing me to wake up me.
half way jogging, we saw this dog.. no, not one there were two dog i guess.
so we decided to shorten our jogging area. haha.
bingo!! i'm afraid of dogs. well, not all but some. i wouldn't scare of my friend's
after jogging, i took a long warm shower and picked up the red collar shirt.
got no idea why people needed make-up when going out.
that's so not me. i mean, maybe not now. hahha..
but still i prefer the original and fresh sylvia without make-up.
so, done some simply work today.. and left earlier.
earlier as in 3something.
mom need to be at the office there to collect some stuff.
then, picked up my sister at her school, also my previous school.
the traffic was terrible!! i hate to be punctual. hahaha..
the parents parked the car, stopped the car everywhere..
like nobody business. like their kids are the precious one,
but the others are donkey. what the hell!! wake up!
parents thought they are doing something caring and lovable.
well, not to deny it but its overprotected.
how the hell their kids going to face the social when they grown up?
shouldn't the parents give their children to learn to be independent?
at least, to be responsible. not that everything must be arranged.
my god ! i agreed that its risky and dangerous outside there..
but hey!! its school compound. can't the kids who are STUDYING handle it?
handle stuff like carry their bags by themselves.
get everything done by themselves. everything as in homework, packing bags.
that's so stupid !! parents are doing too much for their kids.
went friendster with my babes @ co. (sylvia.claudia.kelly & eeling).
had dinner and chit chat. haha. in fact, we were gossiping.
what to do? girls conversation are always like that. haha.
first time, sat kelly's car. she drove matrix!! wow..
a girl like her (small size) driving matrix. and her seat..
its so near to the sterling. thats why i don't know how she drives.
anyway, we had great time at friendster cafe.
they told me they brought people there. friendster cafe is getting famous.
friendster cafe no longer the so-called private place for me & friends.
well, its alright. guess cassey they all will appreciate it.
friendster cafe is like a place for the babes @ co. reunion. hahaha..
night. thought of something. should or shouldn't ?
i know myself. well. and i know i'm turning back to you.
am i being silly? to wish there is something between us?
maybe i am. i know i shouldn't fall for you, as we will only be friend.
but why, why are we still friends? cause i do not know how to appreciate.
i don't know how to appreciate when i'm having it. and now?
finally i've learn how to appreciate, learn the right way to love & to care
but it happen in the wrong time i guess. things are over, right?
i'm not sure if you will spend your time reading this piece of shit,
but it is like what i really want you to know..
i don't really bother if you feel the same like i do. well, its better if you do.
but even if you don't, the only thing i'm worry about is you ignoring me.
i will not force myself for letting go or anything. cause i know..
someday, sometime, somehow when i'm tired of falling for you,
or tired of waiting your love to fall on. i'll walk away quietly.
without regrets. without any harsh feelings. but only feeling its a pity.
even though you've been saying you are not the right guy,
or saying you are not a nice guy to be with.. but please trust me.
i know you better than anyone. at least, i think i'm mature enough to handle it.
won't force you or anything. just like i said. i'll just let things go naturally.
i feel like sharing my everything with you.
not only the happy ones, but also the sorrows.
happy pig is what you said to describe me. and i know, i like it.
i like it not because you named it. its because, it brings happiness.
wishing you will laugh or at least a smile when this happy pig appears.
popping out on your samsung's screen. it brings happiness and sunshine to you.
i hope. and i wish.
love you loads.
love loads,
wei-wei
woke up early in the morning..
well, i have to wake up around 5.45 every morning..
it's earlier than i used to be when i'm a student!
and its freezing outside. well, maybe not that cold..
but still, early in the morning. and i'm wearing jersey.
the wind blows, i felt cold. and it wakes me up! haha..
you wouldn't know if you never saw someone jogging and eyes shut.
mom was like, laughing all the way. keep pushing me to wake up me.
half way jogging, we saw this dog.. no, not one there were two dog i guess.
so we decided to shorten our jogging area. haha.
bingo!! i'm afraid of dogs. well, not all but some. i wouldn't scare of my friend's
after jogging, i took a long warm shower and picked up the red collar shirt.
got no idea why people needed make-up when going out.
that's so not me. i mean, maybe not now. hahha..
but still i prefer the original and fresh sylvia without make-up.
so, done some simply work today.. and left earlier.
earlier as in 3something.
mom need to be at the office there to collect some stuff.
then, picked up my sister at her school, also my previous school.
the traffic was terrible!! i hate to be punctual. hahaha..
the parents parked the car, stopped the car everywhere..
like nobody business. like their kids are the precious one,
but the others are donkey. what the hell!! wake up!
parents thought they are doing something caring and lovable.
well, not to deny it but its overprotected.
how the hell their kids going to face the social when they grown up?
shouldn't the parents give their children to learn to be independent?
at least, to be responsible. not that everything must be arranged.
my god ! i agreed that its risky and dangerous outside there..
but hey!! its school compound. can't the kids who are STUDYING handle it?
handle stuff like carry their bags by themselves.
get everything done by themselves. everything as in homework, packing bags.
that's so stupid !! parents are doing too much for their kids.
went friendster with my babes @ co. (sylvia.claudia.kelly & eeling).
had dinner and chit chat. haha. in fact, we were gossiping.
what to do? girls conversation are always like that. haha.
first time, sat kelly's car. she drove matrix!! wow..
a girl like her (small size) driving matrix. and her seat..
its so near to the sterling. thats why i don't know how she drives.
anyway, we had great time at friendster cafe.
they told me they brought people there. friendster cafe is getting famous.
friendster cafe no longer the so-called private place for me & friends.
well, its alright. guess cassey they all will appreciate it.
friendster cafe is like a place for the babes @ co. reunion. hahaha..
night. thought of something. should or shouldn't ?
i know myself. well. and i know i'm turning back to you.
am i being silly? to wish there is something between us?
maybe i am. i know i shouldn't fall for you, as we will only be friend.
but why, why are we still friends? cause i do not know how to appreciate.
i don't know how to appreciate when i'm having it. and now?
finally i've learn how to appreciate, learn the right way to love & to care
but it happen in the wrong time i guess. things are over, right?
i'm not sure if you will spend your time reading this piece of shit,
but it is like what i really want you to know..
i don't really bother if you feel the same like i do. well, its better if you do.
but even if you don't, the only thing i'm worry about is you ignoring me.
i will not force myself for letting go or anything. cause i know..
someday, sometime, somehow when i'm tired of falling for you,
or tired of waiting your love to fall on. i'll walk away quietly.
without regrets. without any harsh feelings. but only feeling its a pity.
even though you've been saying you are not the right guy,
or saying you are not a nice guy to be with.. but please trust me.
i know you better than anyone. at least, i think i'm mature enough to handle it.
won't force you or anything. just like i said. i'll just let things go naturally.
i feel like sharing my everything with you.
not only the happy ones, but also the sorrows.
happy pig is what you said to describe me. and i know, i like it.
i like it not because you named it. its because, it brings happiness.
wishing you will laugh or at least a smile when this happy pig appears.
popping out on your samsung's screen. it brings happiness and sunshine to you.
i hope. and i wish.
love you loads.
love loads,
wei-wei
Wednesday
Motorola SLVR L7
i'm now listening to 'i dont wanna fall in love' by greenday
well.. sorry for not blogging ystday..
but nobody cares i guess.. no point..
blogging everyday with same old grandma story..
but there are something happening everyday..
so what should i do ? hahaha..
yeaa.. end up.. i decided to blog whenever i feel like doing it..
was suppose to buy sony ericsson w900i..
but i fed up waiting for it.. market havin shortage on supplying..
so i changed my mind.. and got myself motorola..
its the slim phone my friends talking about..
motorola slvr L7.. its 95gram only.. bloody light..
in black.. suits girl.. look cool thou its girlish.. hahaha..
like the key pad very much.. its like the blue light..
omg.. love it!! well.. the function is not as good as other phone..
but.. i just like it.. hahaha.. you can't do anything ..
and its cheaper than sony ericsson so much.. LOL..
so.. i'll start off with today's news!!!!
hahah.. what-so-ever..
did not on my phone till evening.. and i missed something..
when i said i missed!! its missed!!!
may and choy were askin if i want tickets..
what tickets ? are you asking what tickets they mean.. ?
its lee hom's concert at taiwan !!!! argghh..
regretted.. what the hell.. i missed it..
sigh.. how can this happen.. my lee hom.. T.T
never mind.. will find ways to do something..
suddenly think of something.. something called 'letting go'..
its the hardest thing i ever have to do.. since the past..
seriously feel like letting go our memories.. and feelings towards you..
but i couldn't help myself falling in love with you, again.
its pointless forcing myself to stop loving or let go everything.
its because i really dont want to, and also it takes a longer time.
used to thought i had over come this shitty situation, but soon..
i found myself turning back to you. turning back to the point where
both of us somehow still having some click between.
but i believe, and i trust. if something is meant to be yours,
it will be yours. no matter how many times you fail or you missed it.
it reminds me of our relationship. we'd screwed up the whole thing
i thought it would be nice to fix it up and stuff. how sweet will it be?
but things aren't that easy. it's easier to say than to do.
so now ? letting go this feeling by itself or not is no longer my choice.
cause i'd pick up a better one ~ let it be what it should be.
maybe everything will be better if its go by its own way, who knows?
told joanne bout it.
she said something that definitely brighten up my life.
he was my first love.
immaturity and stupidity causes the relationship to end earlier than i thought.
was suppose to be so damn bloody hurt.
i never thought i would fall for him again. never.
but things just don't seems like that. well, face it then.
yea~ i think i know how to do. and i think i found the solution.
to solve it, i don't need another guy nor times.
what i need is the heart and feelings. the inner me told me the truth.
forcing myself to-be in love with another guy will not help.
not only hurting the one that loves you, but also yourself.
so now, what am i going to do ? waiting till the feelings gone?
big cross for that. instead, i will do what i feel like doing.
isn't it better than forcing yourself to do something you do not wish to?
loving and caring are not a crime. we love each other and do care each other.
what is wrong between us ? the timing.
why don't i ask for a second shot ? a chance for us to hold it again?
things aren't that easy people. you won't know what is going on.
but guess what? i can handle this pretty well. at least, till now.
i don't know if i'm doing the right thing. but i appreciate him.
appreciated him for giving me such sweet, unforgettable & passionate memories.
they are things i wouldn't got by paying or acting out.
they are precious to me. even though in between there were unhappy things.
but i'm smart enough to only remember the happy one. ^_^
not that i'm lying myself but its like,
what is the point to remember those unhappy ones
when you got plenty of happy ones behind?
funny.
love loads,
wei-wei
well.. sorry for not blogging ystday..
but nobody cares i guess.. no point..
blogging everyday with same old grandma story..
but there are something happening everyday..
so what should i do ? hahaha..
yeaa.. end up.. i decided to blog whenever i feel like doing it..
was suppose to buy sony ericsson w900i..
but i fed up waiting for it.. market havin shortage on supplying..
so i changed my mind.. and got myself motorola..
its the slim phone my friends talking about..
motorola slvr L7.. its 95gram only.. bloody light..
in black.. suits girl.. look cool thou its girlish.. hahaha..
like the key pad very much.. its like the blue light..
omg.. love it!! well.. the function is not as good as other phone..
but.. i just like it.. hahaha.. you can't do anything ..
and its cheaper than sony ericsson so much.. LOL..
so.. i'll start off with today's news!!!!
hahah.. what-so-ever..
did not on my phone till evening.. and i missed something..
when i said i missed!! its missed!!!
may and choy were askin if i want tickets..
what tickets ? are you asking what tickets they mean.. ?
its lee hom's concert at taiwan !!!! argghh..
regretted.. what the hell.. i missed it..
sigh.. how can this happen.. my lee hom.. T.T
never mind.. will find ways to do something..
suddenly think of something.. something called 'letting go'..
its the hardest thing i ever have to do.. since the past..
seriously feel like letting go our memories.. and feelings towards you..
but i couldn't help myself falling in love with you, again.
its pointless forcing myself to stop loving or let go everything.
its because i really dont want to, and also it takes a longer time.
used to thought i had over come this shitty situation, but soon..
i found myself turning back to you. turning back to the point where
both of us somehow still having some click between.
but i believe, and i trust. if something is meant to be yours,
it will be yours. no matter how many times you fail or you missed it.
it reminds me of our relationship. we'd screwed up the whole thing
i thought it would be nice to fix it up and stuff. how sweet will it be?
but things aren't that easy. it's easier to say than to do.
so now ? letting go this feeling by itself or not is no longer my choice.
cause i'd pick up a better one ~ let it be what it should be.
maybe everything will be better if its go by its own way, who knows?
told joanne bout it.
she said something that definitely brighten up my life.
he was my first love.
immaturity and stupidity causes the relationship to end earlier than i thought.
was suppose to be so damn bloody hurt.
i never thought i would fall for him again. never.
but things just don't seems like that. well, face it then.
yea~ i think i know how to do. and i think i found the solution.
to solve it, i don't need another guy nor times.
what i need is the heart and feelings. the inner me told me the truth.
forcing myself to-be in love with another guy will not help.
not only hurting the one that loves you, but also yourself.
so now, what am i going to do ? waiting till the feelings gone?
big cross for that. instead, i will do what i feel like doing.
isn't it better than forcing yourself to do something you do not wish to?
loving and caring are not a crime. we love each other and do care each other.
what is wrong between us ? the timing.
why don't i ask for a second shot ? a chance for us to hold it again?
things aren't that easy people. you won't know what is going on.
but guess what? i can handle this pretty well. at least, till now.
i don't know if i'm doing the right thing. but i appreciate him.
appreciated him for giving me such sweet, unforgettable & passionate memories.
they are things i wouldn't got by paying or acting out.
they are precious to me. even though in between there were unhappy things.
but i'm smart enough to only remember the happy one. ^_^
not that i'm lying myself but its like,
what is the point to remember those unhappy ones
when you got plenty of happy ones behind?
funny.
love loads,
wei-wei
Monday
Busy Monday
im now listening 'believe me' by fort minor.
was suppose to go for a jog with mom..
but end up im sleeping like a pig..
well.. not exactly my fault right..
hahaha.. it feels so good to stay under the blanket..
warm and comfortable.. *smile*
its like the most preferable place id rather to stayed..
and i was so damn tired in the morning..
did i mention its 5.30 in the morning.. hmmmm..
cause of the 'monthly problem'.. im just so weak..
sigh. hate it !! why is't so unfair ?? all this shit falls on female..
for example.. menstruation.. and followed by..
givin birth.. breast cancer.. womb cancer..
all about female.. its so so so bloody unfair !!
ok.. stop it !!
so.. i woke up around 6.30 in the morning..
instead of 5.30.. haha.. only an hour extra..
showered.. picked my clothes.. smile to the mirror..
hey.. dont think that im psycho.. just smiling to myself..
well.. it works.. face the mirror.. shows your favourite smile..
and say this to yourself " you look great. have a nice day babe!"
hahaha.. well.. its sound kinda sick. but.. it works!
i mean.. i practically.. mentally.. having a wonderful day..
although its a busy monday.. yea..
office work is not as easy as i thought..
had breakfast at the cafeteria near by my parents office..
you might thought its belongs to my parents..
im the so-called princess in my parents company..
people might treat me well and stuff..
no way!!! big cross on that..
im just like the others.. working like im hired by them..
i definitely realized study as a student is the easiest job ever..
but im half paid for my hardwork.. so.. acceptable..
learnt a lot.. which are stuff i never learn in school..
after breakfast, i started off with clearing up the debtors report..
and then the payment account.. followed by checking the stocks..
then, filling up the bank-in-slip.. and do some record on customers..
phewww~ what a busy day!!! well.. for me.. im new! and..
i dont know anything.. so i just have to learn step-by-step..
was listening 'catch me when i fall' by ashlee simpson..
hmmm.. was wondering if there is anyone willing to catch me..
whenever i fall.. im always alone.. to hold the remain rope..
wishing there is someone over another corner pulling me up..
not catching.. but at least saving me from the pain of falling..
i used to be so tough.. till almost everyone thought so..
they thought i never been hurt..
i dont need any protection from guys..
but is that the real me ? im not sure..
im so-called the double-faced girl..
i can be really tough and brave..
but.. just dont uncover my false impression ive made..
not to say im pretending or acting..
i just dont wanna be too weak..
i dont want my family and friends to worried..
and i dont want people i love to pretend they loved me..
sympathize with me.. i seriously dont want that to happen..
to be honest..
i only wish to be catch by him when i fall..
and i know.. that will only be my wish...
my dream.. and my empty hope..
which almost reaching the impossible point to achieve it..
loads of love,
baby kruffy
was suppose to go for a jog with mom..
but end up im sleeping like a pig..
well.. not exactly my fault right..
hahaha.. it feels so good to stay under the blanket..
warm and comfortable.. *smile*
its like the most preferable place id rather to stayed..
and i was so damn tired in the morning..
did i mention its 5.30 in the morning.. hmmmm..
cause of the 'monthly problem'.. im just so weak..
sigh. hate it !! why is't so unfair ?? all this shit falls on female..
for example.. menstruation.. and followed by..
givin birth.. breast cancer.. womb cancer..
all about female.. its so so so bloody unfair !!
ok.. stop it !!
so.. i woke up around 6.30 in the morning..
instead of 5.30.. haha.. only an hour extra..
showered.. picked my clothes.. smile to the mirror..
hey.. dont think that im psycho.. just smiling to myself..
well.. it works.. face the mirror.. shows your favourite smile..
and say this to yourself " you look great. have a nice day babe!"
hahaha.. well.. its sound kinda sick. but.. it works!
i mean.. i practically.. mentally.. having a wonderful day..
although its a busy monday.. yea..
office work is not as easy as i thought..
had breakfast at the cafeteria near by my parents office..
you might thought its belongs to my parents..
im the so-called princess in my parents company..
people might treat me well and stuff..
no way!!! big cross on that..
im just like the others.. working like im hired by them..
i definitely realized study as a student is the easiest job ever..
but im half paid for my hardwork.. so.. acceptable..
learnt a lot.. which are stuff i never learn in school..
after breakfast, i started off with clearing up the debtors report..
and then the payment account.. followed by checking the stocks..
then, filling up the bank-in-slip.. and do some record on customers..
phewww~ what a busy day!!! well.. for me.. im new! and..
i dont know anything.. so i just have to learn step-by-step..
was listening 'catch me when i fall' by ashlee simpson..
hmmm.. was wondering if there is anyone willing to catch me..
whenever i fall.. im always alone.. to hold the remain rope..
wishing there is someone over another corner pulling me up..
not catching.. but at least saving me from the pain of falling..
i used to be so tough.. till almost everyone thought so..
they thought i never been hurt..
i dont need any protection from guys..
but is that the real me ? im not sure..
im so-called the double-faced girl..
i can be really tough and brave..
but.. just dont uncover my false impression ive made..
not to say im pretending or acting..
i just dont wanna be too weak..
i dont want my family and friends to worried..
and i dont want people i love to pretend they loved me..
sympathize with me.. i seriously dont want that to happen..
to be honest..
i only wish to be catch by him when i fall..
and i know.. that will only be my wish...
my dream.. and my empty hope..
which almost reaching the impossible point to achieve it..
loads of love,
baby kruffy
Sunday
Ordinary Weekend
im now listening 'stupid cupid' by mandy moore.
nothing much happen these days. (saturday and sunday)
was suppose to fetch honey monkey on saturday morning..
was suppose to go for kdu third annual sports day..
but end up im stuck at home.. sigh.
sorry honey monkey!! felt bad bout it..
missed the moment with my babes and buddies..
anyway.. we will catch up some other time..
so for today.. pretty happy.. hahahaa..
i got myself this new layout.. full of stars..
which is what i really like it.. i love stars..
im not sure if my readers like it.. but..
im just lovin it. mwahh!!
visited natalia's blog.. well.. congrats her!!
she is now the LG Mobile Ambassador of Malaysia..
isnt it cool.. i mean.. she even got a free LG phone..
hmmm.. lucky girl.. but she is gorgeous thou..
after that.. i read khai ling's and amanda's too..
its weird knowing green house actually won..
well, not to say that they arent good.. but..
they won ? where is blue? where is red?
hahaha. anyway.. congrats to green house members..
did i mention i was green ? but.. too bad..
hahaha.. i prefer red.. was red house @ catholic high school..
i left but still.. i am proud to be one of the red..
tons of memories in catholic when im the red house active member.
when i said active.. i mean it !! and its real active.. hahaha
you wouldnt believe.. a crazy girl like me..
actually took part in every single event.. hahaha..
thats so crazy.. and some of them..
well.. happen at the same time.. different avenue..
and .. yea.. it feels good.. it really does..
those memories you wouldnt have it.. anywhere..
but during your secondary school life..
no regrets going catholic high school..
same goes to sri kdu the so-called smart school..
i missed my friends..
ever since i starts to work with my parents..
i seriously.. got no time at all..
now i realize.. studying.. is an easy job..
i missed claudia.. kelly.. yee en.. emily..
i even missed chrissy.. billy.. chingloong..
and.. shaffique.. aznal.. bowie.. ee ling..
god.. just miss those days we had in help.. sigh..
was thinking to go earlier.. maybe the april intake..
but.. its a bit rush.. so..
prolly leavin somewhere in june.. for the july intake..
hmmm. wondering if i can handle this..
to be alone.. at melbourne..
no family.. no car.. no friends..
as in real close buddies.. and all the spicy food..
anyway.. there is nothing i cant handle !!!!
LOL.
loads of love,
baby kruffy
nothing much happen these days. (saturday and sunday)
was suppose to fetch honey monkey on saturday morning..
was suppose to go for kdu third annual sports day..
but end up im stuck at home.. sigh.
sorry honey monkey!! felt bad bout it..
missed the moment with my babes and buddies..
anyway.. we will catch up some other time..
so for today.. pretty happy.. hahahaa..
i got myself this new layout.. full of stars..
which is what i really like it.. i love stars..
im not sure if my readers like it.. but..
im just lovin it. mwahh!!
visited natalia's blog.. well.. congrats her!!
she is now the LG Mobile Ambassador of Malaysia..
isnt it cool.. i mean.. she even got a free LG phone..
hmmm.. lucky girl.. but she is gorgeous thou..
after that.. i read khai ling's and amanda's too..
its weird knowing green house actually won..
well, not to say that they arent good.. but..
they won ? where is blue? where is red?
hahaha. anyway.. congrats to green house members..
did i mention i was green ? but.. too bad..
hahaha.. i prefer red.. was red house @ catholic high school..
i left but still.. i am proud to be one of the red..
tons of memories in catholic when im the red house active member.
when i said active.. i mean it !! and its real active.. hahaha
you wouldnt believe.. a crazy girl like me..
actually took part in every single event.. hahaha..
thats so crazy.. and some of them..
well.. happen at the same time.. different avenue..
and .. yea.. it feels good.. it really does..
those memories you wouldnt have it.. anywhere..
but during your secondary school life..
no regrets going catholic high school..
same goes to sri kdu the so-called smart school..
i missed my friends..
ever since i starts to work with my parents..
i seriously.. got no time at all..
now i realize.. studying.. is an easy job..
i missed claudia.. kelly.. yee en.. emily..
i even missed chrissy.. billy.. chingloong..
and.. shaffique.. aznal.. bowie.. ee ling..
god.. just miss those days we had in help.. sigh..
was thinking to go earlier.. maybe the april intake..
but.. its a bit rush.. so..
prolly leavin somewhere in june.. for the july intake..
hmmm. wondering if i can handle this..
to be alone.. at melbourne..
no family.. no car.. no friends..
as in real close buddies.. and all the spicy food..
anyway.. there is nothing i cant handle !!!!
LOL.
loads of love,
baby kruffy
Friday
first love
im listening 'first love' by utada hikaru..
woke up early..
went for a jog with mom..
had some private conversation with her..
hmmm.. i felt im more mature..
compare to past.. compare to others..
that are also same age with me..
after that, i fetched sister to school..
and went office with mom..
got a lot of work to do..
well.. i learn to check and do something..
debtors aging reports..
lots of thing to do.. we have to file up..
checked.. and also.. make report to the head..
picked up my brother around 1..
then, waited for sister and dad for lunch..
went damansara height again..
well, actually went the immigration centre..
took my new passport..
met kim and nisha at mcdonald..
gonna keep in touch with them..
read claudia's blog..
hope she is really fine..
in fact, her bf did msg me and tell me bout it..
as in their situation.. but i choose to be quiet..
i thought she will sms me or call me..
to talk about it.. but guess she is too busy..
or maybe she just doesnt want me to worry..
or ignoring it.. im not sure about it..
anyway.. really hope she will appreciate it..
like what i always said.. sometimes..
things are not suppose to be said..
not that keeping secrets from others..
but.. sometimes.. just shouldnt simply say it..
sigh.. i dont know how to explain..
but it just got some rules to handle and learn..
in a relationship.. it is not easy..
loving each other is not enough..
there are a lot of factors.. we should know..
and learn about it.. im lucky.. to know some of it..
to know how to handle it..
cause of my first love..
i know what is love.. what is caring..
how to tolerate.. how to treat someone..
caring using your own way isn't enough..
for me.. now.. i know the right way..
i learn how to love the one i love..
by using the simplest way..
with sincerity and pure feeling..
i know how to care the one i love..
not using the way i thought is the best..
but the way.. he will feel happy and comfortable with..
loving and caring .. isnt something you can achieve easily..
its something you have to learn..
its something that happen.. by natural..
naturally.. no force.. no pressure..
not pretending.. not copying the others..
its the unique and special thing..
lots of love,
wei-wei
woke up early..
went for a jog with mom..
had some private conversation with her..
hmmm.. i felt im more mature..
compare to past.. compare to others..
that are also same age with me..
after that, i fetched sister to school..
and went office with mom..
got a lot of work to do..
well.. i learn to check and do something..
debtors aging reports..
lots of thing to do.. we have to file up..
checked.. and also.. make report to the head..
picked up my brother around 1..
then, waited for sister and dad for lunch..
went damansara height again..
well, actually went the immigration centre..
took my new passport..
met kim and nisha at mcdonald..
gonna keep in touch with them..
read claudia's blog..
hope she is really fine..
in fact, her bf did msg me and tell me bout it..
as in their situation.. but i choose to be quiet..
i thought she will sms me or call me..
to talk about it.. but guess she is too busy..
or maybe she just doesnt want me to worry..
or ignoring it.. im not sure about it..
anyway.. really hope she will appreciate it..
like what i always said.. sometimes..
things are not suppose to be said..
not that keeping secrets from others..
but.. sometimes.. just shouldnt simply say it..
sigh.. i dont know how to explain..
but it just got some rules to handle and learn..
in a relationship.. it is not easy..
loving each other is not enough..
there are a lot of factors.. we should know..
and learn about it.. im lucky.. to know some of it..
to know how to handle it..
cause of my first love..
i know what is love.. what is caring..
how to tolerate.. how to treat someone..
caring using your own way isn't enough..
for me.. now.. i know the right way..
i learn how to love the one i love..
by using the simplest way..
with sincerity and pure feeling..
i know how to care the one i love..
not using the way i thought is the best..
but the way.. he will feel happy and comfortable with..
loving and caring .. isnt something you can achieve easily..
its something you have to learn..
its something that happen.. by natural..
naturally.. no force.. no pressure..
not pretending.. not copying the others..
its the unique and special thing..
lots of love,
wei-wei
Thursday
claudia's blog
im now listening 'shining friends'..
last night.. i read claudia's blog..
wasnt happy at all.. in fact.. im worried..
yea.. reading her blog.. make me feel that
im the worst friend ever.. really..
she mentioned that i brought hope to her..
and took it away after sometimes..
actually, i understand she is feeling sad..
but i just couldnt bear with it..
couldnt accept that she actually thought ..
leaving help.. leaving to australia..
means breaking the friendship and stuff..
she mean something to me..
somebody that supporting me..
someone to talk to and sharing..
i missed those days.. serious..
they wouldnt understand how i feel when im in off..
at least, when im not around.. she still have friends..
kelly... sara... hsiao vern.. cassey.. kenny and others..
but me ? im all alone.. missing all my friends..
i thought our friendship can be tested..
i thought nothing can come between us..
i felt great to share happiness and sorrows..
leaving the country to australia.. im all alone too..
no relatives.. no family..
to tell the truth.. im scared.. too... but
i choose to face it.. its for my future..
i know my friends over here will support me..
chilling with me over the phone or tru net..
keep ourselves updated to each other..
i dont want my leaving breaks the friendship..
it hurts me ten times more than anything..
after reading her blog.. txt her..
and check her blog again... this morning..
well.. im not sure if its offensive...
but i seriously dont think she is thinking the right thing..
p/s claudia: you are not alone..
you can always share your stuff with others..
even im not around.. even im not by your side..
but thats only physically..
friends can be lasting.. if you believe..
love can be lasting.. if you dont mind givin out..
and not hoping the returns..
happiness can be lasting.. only if you see things in positive ways..
trust yourself.. and be confidence that you can be happy..
i got no idea what had happen between us..
and i know.. our friendship seems to be cracking..
this is all because of me ? because i choose to leave ?
as a friend.. or i should say.. as closest buddy with me..
i thought no matter how sad you are..
there is still something call supporting..
i thought i will have it.. from you.. and from kelly as well..
the two girls im really close and care..
but end up ? seeing your blog..
knowing how you feel about our friendship..
to be honest.. it disappoint me..
lots of love,
wei-wei
last night.. i read claudia's blog..
wasnt happy at all.. in fact.. im worried..
yea.. reading her blog.. make me feel that
im the worst friend ever.. really..
she mentioned that i brought hope to her..
and took it away after sometimes..
actually, i understand she is feeling sad..
but i just couldnt bear with it..
couldnt accept that she actually thought ..
leaving help.. leaving to australia..
means breaking the friendship and stuff..
she mean something to me..
somebody that supporting me..
someone to talk to and sharing..
i missed those days.. serious..
they wouldnt understand how i feel when im in off..
at least, when im not around.. she still have friends..
kelly... sara... hsiao vern.. cassey.. kenny and others..
but me ? im all alone.. missing all my friends..
i thought our friendship can be tested..
i thought nothing can come between us..
i felt great to share happiness and sorrows..
leaving the country to australia.. im all alone too..
no relatives.. no family..
to tell the truth.. im scared.. too... but
i choose to face it.. its for my future..
i know my friends over here will support me..
chilling with me over the phone or tru net..
keep ourselves updated to each other..
i dont want my leaving breaks the friendship..
it hurts me ten times more than anything..
after reading her blog.. txt her..
and check her blog again... this morning..
well.. im not sure if its offensive...
but i seriously dont think she is thinking the right thing..
p/s claudia: you are not alone..
you can always share your stuff with others..
even im not around.. even im not by your side..
but thats only physically..
friends can be lasting.. if you believe..
love can be lasting.. if you dont mind givin out..
and not hoping the returns..
happiness can be lasting.. only if you see things in positive ways..
trust yourself.. and be confidence that you can be happy..
i got no idea what had happen between us..
and i know.. our friendship seems to be cracking..
this is all because of me ? because i choose to leave ?
as a friend.. or i should say.. as closest buddy with me..
i thought no matter how sad you are..
there is still something call supporting..
i thought i will have it.. from you.. and from kelly as well..
the two girls im really close and care..
but end up ? seeing your blog..
knowing how you feel about our friendship..
to be honest.. it disappoint me..
lots of love,
wei-wei
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