Song showing on my ipod : You're Beautiful by James Blunt
"The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them, knowing you can't have them." trust me, its really sad to miss someone like this. I tried. I supported him, listening to his problem, be there whenever he needed, missed him loads, but i know i can't have him. To him, I'm nobody but a back-up girl. I'll back him up, giving him confidence and supporting him. Its not only tiring but also you'll lose your real identity. As in, you'll try your best to get his attention, doing stuff he likes, being somebody you think he'll like it.. Slowly, you'll forget bout who you are. Sad case. Anyway, congrats to me! I'm not like that anymore. I'm release from this painful missing way. I'm tired of waiting, tired of being his shadow. And so, now? I'm me myself. No longer falling for him, i guess. Its like, no point doing that. I'll just enjoy my single life, with a bunch of friends. Seeking for my next target. The one who worth it ! God bless me. *wink* btw, don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened. *grin*
One of my friend told me, "Never Frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile." Its true. I do think people will like somebody with smiling face than some with bitter one. Happiness are what everyone loving it. So, from now onwards, I'll try my very best to smile by my heart. No point smiling physically but not sincere. That's what people saying face smiling but not really smiling. Well, it make sense. hahaha. Lots of my people trying to pretend like they are happy, they smile, they laugh.. But i can see that they aren't happy. Their eyes shows their real feelings. Trust others eyes. It shows. ^^
Went yoga class early in the morning. Kit joined us too. Its not really tough but everything needed hand and arm and shoulders strength. Gosh! Its killing me. my arm, my entire hand aren't mine anymore. Really.. But enjoyed. Starting to have the passion on yoga. Its healthy! ^^ was talking to my instructor, Sam about my sister. She's selfish. She couldn't get rid of it. Don't even accept others advice. She'll be angry and fed up if anyone tried to encourage or advice her. That's bad, really! Just don't know how to help her out of it. her attitude, really bad.. Everyone dislike it but don't know what to do. She's over pampered. Sigh.
god bless.
Saturday
Friday
I'm Not Pretty, So WHAT??!
Song showing on my ipod : Love Yogurt by JJ
My second post of the day. By the way, Happy birthday to Pei Pei & Xia Xue aka Wendy!!!
I got no idea what am i doing right now. Well, maybe I'm a lil emo. Everyone have some emo sense in 'em isn't it? Its just, we're tryin our best not to show it out. But sometimes we should let it out. hahaha. as long as its not like those really sarcastic emo chic like what my friend's facing. Earnestly, being emo is not something good but sometimes you just can't help. I'm not tryin to be an emo labeled Sylvia but i just need to speak out my thoughts, share my everything with others. i mean, its not nice to keep everything to myself. It causes some sickness according to psychology theory. blogging is like the only way for me to speak out my thoughts, giving chances for my friends to understand me. i mean, yea~ its like showing my personal secretive life online to others. But.. Shut up! I'm not going to give any information that might kill me or get me in trouble. Whatever I'm telling in my blog will only be stuff I'm willing to share, but as everyone know.. There's no way for one to open up themselves.. No way I'm going to tell everything bout me from a to Z. That's impossible. But at least, I'm trying to share myself, trying to let others know more about me, to let them understand, I'm not emo.. I'm not super selfish.. I'm not sophisticate.
different people have different thoughts, different point of view, different opinion on one particular thing. But one thing in common, everyone should have a sincere and honest heart. They were sincerity and honest, but lots of reason causes them to be at the dark side. People starts to jealous, to hate.. It shouldn't happen all the while. i mean, yea~~ once a while but not always. Some even jealous their own family, their so called best friend.. Wth. That's so wrong. i do jealous, envy, admire, dislike.. But not a negative thoughts yet. as in hating and cursing. Jealous brings the feeling of hate. i dislike some of my so-called friends that backstabbed me and used me like a fool, but i never hate. Well, i do. i hate myself for being an idiot. ROFL. Although I'm not really an idiot. But sometimes i just act like I'm one. Funny isn't it? If.. Only if being an idiot is happy.. Then i wish I'm an idiot. But that's untrue. How can one be happy when they hardly understand and get to know others. as in, people will treat them differently, treating them like some mental illness people.. That's harsh. But you can't deny it. I'm happy now. my current life totally cool. Well, I'm not the smartest girl that scored straight a1 or having colorful record for academic awards, I'm not the most pretty and beautiful young lady among my friends and family, I'm not a copy for others, I'm me, myself. The confidence and unique one. I'm proud to be like that. Well, yea~ I'm fat.. I'm ugly.. I'm single.. So what? F**k off. Take it or leave it. LOL. Oops.. But really, I'm not trying to be somebody I'm not. i just feel good being me. Even though I'm fat.. I'm not pretty.. I'm not rich.. I'm not smart.. I'm not popular.. So what? All that don't stop me from being happy. And I'm sure, not much people can feel it. They thought they are happy but .. Nope! They're faking it.
And now.. Few of my friends asking why am I blogging? They just don't want me to be so into this whole blogging thingies. i guess. But i just like to do it. not telling others whatever about me, but I just wanted to speak it out. Don't want to keep EVERYTHING to myself. So, I'll just stick with it. And have fun.
My second post of the day. By the way, Happy birthday to Pei Pei & Xia Xue aka Wendy!!!
I got no idea what am i doing right now. Well, maybe I'm a lil emo. Everyone have some emo sense in 'em isn't it? Its just, we're tryin our best not to show it out. But sometimes we should let it out. hahaha. as long as its not like those really sarcastic emo chic like what my friend's facing. Earnestly, being emo is not something good but sometimes you just can't help. I'm not tryin to be an emo labeled Sylvia but i just need to speak out my thoughts, share my everything with others. i mean, its not nice to keep everything to myself. It causes some sickness according to psychology theory. blogging is like the only way for me to speak out my thoughts, giving chances for my friends to understand me. i mean, yea~ its like showing my personal secretive life online to others. But.. Shut up! I'm not going to give any information that might kill me or get me in trouble. Whatever I'm telling in my blog will only be stuff I'm willing to share, but as everyone know.. There's no way for one to open up themselves.. No way I'm going to tell everything bout me from a to Z. That's impossible. But at least, I'm trying to share myself, trying to let others know more about me, to let them understand, I'm not emo.. I'm not super selfish.. I'm not sophisticate.
different people have different thoughts, different point of view, different opinion on one particular thing. But one thing in common, everyone should have a sincere and honest heart. They were sincerity and honest, but lots of reason causes them to be at the dark side. People starts to jealous, to hate.. It shouldn't happen all the while. i mean, yea~~ once a while but not always. Some even jealous their own family, their so called best friend.. Wth. That's so wrong. i do jealous, envy, admire, dislike.. But not a negative thoughts yet. as in hating and cursing. Jealous brings the feeling of hate. i dislike some of my so-called friends that backstabbed me and used me like a fool, but i never hate. Well, i do. i hate myself for being an idiot. ROFL. Although I'm not really an idiot. But sometimes i just act like I'm one. Funny isn't it? If.. Only if being an idiot is happy.. Then i wish I'm an idiot. But that's untrue. How can one be happy when they hardly understand and get to know others. as in, people will treat them differently, treating them like some mental illness people.. That's harsh. But you can't deny it. I'm happy now. my current life totally cool. Well, I'm not the smartest girl that scored straight a1 or having colorful record for academic awards, I'm not the most pretty and beautiful young lady among my friends and family, I'm not a copy for others, I'm me, myself. The confidence and unique one. I'm proud to be like that. Well, yea~ I'm fat.. I'm ugly.. I'm single.. So what? F**k off. Take it or leave it. LOL. Oops.. But really, I'm not trying to be somebody I'm not. i just feel good being me. Even though I'm fat.. I'm not pretty.. I'm not rich.. I'm not smart.. I'm not popular.. So what? All that don't stop me from being happy. And I'm sure, not much people can feel it. They thought they are happy but .. Nope! They're faking it.
And now.. Few of my friends asking why am I blogging? They just don't want me to be so into this whole blogging thingies. i guess. But i just like to do it. not telling others whatever about me, but I just wanted to speak it out. Don't want to keep EVERYTHING to myself. So, I'll just stick with it. And have fun.
Breakers !!
Song showing on my ipod : Before We Say Goodbye by 2gether
Good Morning!! It's 7.48 in the morning. I'm awake, no work, but driving my brother and sister to school. Its been a week since I last post. So, there's a little updated news for my readers. LOL.
Had been working hard on my yoga posture since Monday. But I gave myself some spaces to breathe and entertain. Went Hartamas with Billy on Wednesday night. He picked me up at my place, then we meet up with Claudia, Ching Loong, Yi Von, Chriseys at Breakers. Got ourselves some drink and chat a little. Aznal joined half way. Then, we went back to Breakers. Yi Von and Chriseys left earlier. Played Foos with Billy and Chingy. Then, played pool with Billy. Won!! Wohooo~ happy enough. hahaha. He won once at Help but now? my turn. ROFL. Something common thing between me, Billy and Claudia. We're all back to single. Yea~ welcome back to single life!! Well, Billy and I are feeling ok bout it. But I don't think Claudia feel the same. I mean, she couldn't get over it I guess. I don't get why they broke up. Well, maybe is kenny's problem. Or maybe.. Like what chingy said, she's fussy. Anyway, just hope she won't make herself down and regret. Whatever decision she made, still we'll be supporting. As for Elaine & Billy, well.. Not sure bout that. Billy doesn't look like he care anyway. Night at breakers with them.. Well, not bad!
As for yesterday, I went out with Claudia. After her class, she picked me up at my place then we went OU Had lunch at Yipee Cup, a place where Billy said full of kiddo smokers. Had a really nice talk with her. Never been so happy after I quit Help. Same goes to her, I guess. I happy with my life. But Its not as crazy as I was when I'm at Help. That makes a different. Got a 'shirt' for my O2 Atom. Then, we went for some photo session at wonderland. After that, we went arcade. Taught Claudia how to play rock fever and the para para dancing machine. She's kinda addicted to it. And another news!!! They're back together. Yea~ Claudia and Kenny, the Kendia's back. Wohooo~ Congrats to Claudia. But, that's really fast. Yet, expected. Hehehee.
Got to go.. I have to get enough sleep for tonight. Going out again? NaHhh.. not sure bout it. But.. Maybe.
Good Morning!! It's 7.48 in the morning. I'm awake, no work, but driving my brother and sister to school. Its been a week since I last post. So, there's a little updated news for my readers. LOL.
Had been working hard on my yoga posture since Monday. But I gave myself some spaces to breathe and entertain. Went Hartamas with Billy on Wednesday night. He picked me up at my place, then we meet up with Claudia, Ching Loong, Yi Von, Chriseys at Breakers. Got ourselves some drink and chat a little. Aznal joined half way. Then, we went back to Breakers. Yi Von and Chriseys left earlier. Played Foos with Billy and Chingy. Then, played pool with Billy. Won!! Wohooo~ happy enough. hahaha. He won once at Help but now? my turn. ROFL. Something common thing between me, Billy and Claudia. We're all back to single. Yea~ welcome back to single life!! Well, Billy and I are feeling ok bout it. But I don't think Claudia feel the same. I mean, she couldn't get over it I guess. I don't get why they broke up. Well, maybe is kenny's problem. Or maybe.. Like what chingy said, she's fussy. Anyway, just hope she won't make herself down and regret. Whatever decision she made, still we'll be supporting. As for Elaine & Billy, well.. Not sure bout that. Billy doesn't look like he care anyway. Night at breakers with them.. Well, not bad!
As for yesterday, I went out with Claudia. After her class, she picked me up at my place then we went OU Had lunch at Yipee Cup, a place where Billy said full of kiddo smokers. Had a really nice talk with her. Never been so happy after I quit Help. Same goes to her, I guess. I happy with my life. But Its not as crazy as I was when I'm at Help. That makes a different. Got a 'shirt' for my O2 Atom. Then, we went for some photo session at wonderland. After that, we went arcade. Taught Claudia how to play rock fever and the para para dancing machine. She's kinda addicted to it. And another news!!! They're back together. Yea~ Claudia and Kenny, the Kendia's back. Wohooo~ Congrats to Claudia. But, that's really fast. Yet, expected. Hehehee.
Got to go.. I have to get enough sleep for tonight. Going out again? NaHhh.. not sure bout it. But.. Maybe.
Sunday
Kendia's Over
Song showing on my ipod : The Hardest Thing by 98Degrees
Kendia's story are over. Kendia means the relationship of Kenny and Claudia. I'm sorry to hear that they ended their relationship last night. But I guess both of them are really not happy now. It's really sad to hear this news from Claudia. She love him so much, work so hard for this relationship, but it ends up ? Sigh. I got no idea what's wrong with them, but I think this decision are made by consideration. Listening to The Hardest Thing by 98 Degrees. "Its the hardest thing I ever have to do, to look into your eyes, and tell you I don't love you.." I think this suit both of them very much. Claudia's not going to update her blog and post like usual. According to her, kendia's story is over, there's no reason for her to blog anyway. Hmmm. Feel sad bout it. But I still don't understand, blogging is because of yourself, not because of a particular subject. I mean, I blog cause I like it very much.. Enjoyed when others read it.. Enjoyed to show others and let people know bout myself.. I simply like it, and don't know how to explain it. But its different to Claudia. She blog cause of love, and now? She end it cause of love too. Sigh. Maybe someday after she face it and gone through all this, she'll be back to blog.
"..Hardest thing i ever have to do.. Is pretending I don't love you.. " Hmmm. Acting and pretending seems to be my part-time job nowadays. I simply don't care what am I feeling right now. As in, no point I show my love all the time. I knew I love, I knew I care. So I'm pretending, I'm acting like I don't care, I don't love. Is't hard ? Not really. I realize I'm really nobody to him. So.. I'll only be me, myself.. Doing what I think I suppose to do. Acting and pretending till, I don't even know if I'm really acting, or I already don't love. Maybe I should say, I don't feel like want to love anymore. I'm tired of all this mind game. To him, I'm just so.. Not important! Hahaha.. Funny. i choose to be like this, so.. Just face it! LOL. His plan doesn't include me, so what? Nahh.. Who cares. ROFL. I'm cool enough, right?
Arghh.. Forgot to mention this in my previous post. Gosh! I speed up to 160km/h last week. woahhh! Its consider really fast for me. hahaha. I'm not skillful driver thou. I'm not really in the mood last week. Was crying while speeding up to that speed. Took me 8minutes plus to reach Sunway from my house. Parents will be killing me if they know that. Andy will scold me too. ^^ But I don't think I'll be using my Jazz to speed again. Its dangerous! Maybe I should use my mom's BMW. Wooooh~
p.s stupid! Your plan don't include me. argh.
Kendia's story are over. Kendia means the relationship of Kenny and Claudia. I'm sorry to hear that they ended their relationship last night. But I guess both of them are really not happy now. It's really sad to hear this news from Claudia. She love him so much, work so hard for this relationship, but it ends up ? Sigh. I got no idea what's wrong with them, but I think this decision are made by consideration. Listening to The Hardest Thing by 98 Degrees. "Its the hardest thing I ever have to do, to look into your eyes, and tell you I don't love you.." I think this suit both of them very much. Claudia's not going to update her blog and post like usual. According to her, kendia's story is over, there's no reason for her to blog anyway. Hmmm. Feel sad bout it. But I still don't understand, blogging is because of yourself, not because of a particular subject. I mean, I blog cause I like it very much.. Enjoyed when others read it.. Enjoyed to show others and let people know bout myself.. I simply like it, and don't know how to explain it. But its different to Claudia. She blog cause of love, and now? She end it cause of love too. Sigh. Maybe someday after she face it and gone through all this, she'll be back to blog.
"..Hardest thing i ever have to do.. Is pretending I don't love you.. " Hmmm. Acting and pretending seems to be my part-time job nowadays. I simply don't care what am I feeling right now. As in, no point I show my love all the time. I knew I love, I knew I care. So I'm pretending, I'm acting like I don't care, I don't love. Is't hard ? Not really. I realize I'm really nobody to him. So.. I'll only be me, myself.. Doing what I think I suppose to do. Acting and pretending till, I don't even know if I'm really acting, or I already don't love. Maybe I should say, I don't feel like want to love anymore. I'm tired of all this mind game. To him, I'm just so.. Not important! Hahaha.. Funny. i choose to be like this, so.. Just face it! LOL. His plan doesn't include me, so what? Nahh.. Who cares. ROFL. I'm cool enough, right?
Arghh.. Forgot to mention this in my previous post. Gosh! I speed up to 160km/h last week. woahhh! Its consider really fast for me. hahaha. I'm not skillful driver thou. I'm not really in the mood last week. Was crying while speeding up to that speed. Took me 8minutes plus to reach Sunway from my house. Parents will be killing me if they know that. Andy will scold me too. ^^ But I don't think I'll be using my Jazz to speed again. Its dangerous! Maybe I should use my mom's BMW. Wooooh~
p.s stupid! Your plan don't include me. argh.
Saturday
Sex Dictionary
People prolly think I'm a psycho or some sex maniac to post something like this. Yea~ topic of the day, sex dictionary. I don't see why can't we talk about sex. I mean, hey! I'm eighteen. I'm an adult. See? I can talk about it, discuss with friends and family.. yea~ I do talk about sex with my parents. I do think its something important to let the youngster know more about sex. We can see a lot of social problems regarding raping case and stuff. Some kids don't even know they're offended sexually cause they don't understand it. Talk about sex with your children! I know it sounds a little weird or you might be feeling awkward.. but.. It's important to have sex education, i mean the correct one. To prevent their son doing something bad, to prevent their daughter to be hurt by anything about sex. Conclusion? hahaha.. Know more about sex before you touching that particular subject. ^^ cheers.
Sex Dictionary.
- Abortion = The medical term for end of a pregnancy. This can be natural which is known as a miscarriage, or it can be an operation to end a pregnancy by removing the fetus from the womb.
- AIDS = It's a serious condition in which the body's defenses against some illnesses stop working properly. The virus that causes AIDS is HIV, which can be sexually transmitted.
- Chlamydia = A very common sexually transmitted infection that effects both boys and girls. If untreated, it can lead to infertility in girls.
- Combined pill = A contraceptive pill that is taken every day and prevents pregnancy by stopping a girl from producing eggs.
- Date rape = When someone goes on a date and then forces their date to have sex with them against their will.
- Emergency Pills = Contraceptive pills that can be taken up to 72 hours after unprotected sex to prevent pregnancy. Also known as Emergency Hormonal Contraception (EHC).
- Fellatio = Another word for a blow job.
- Gonorrhoea = A sexually transmitted infection, also known as The Clap.
- Hepatitis A = A disease that affects the liver which can be caught through sexual activities like rimming or by sharing infected needles used to inject drugs.
- Herpes = A virus that can lead to sores on the face or gentiles.
- HIV = Human Immunodeficiency Virus can be sexually transmitted and is the virus that damages the immune system and can lead to AIDS.
- HPV = Human Papilloma Virus can be found in human that can contribute to cell changes in the cervix.
- Hymen = The thin layer of skin that partially covers the entrance to a girl's vagina. It can be broken by sex, tampons or various sporting activities.
hmmm.. That's a lot more but I just simply won't list out all.. By telling people those diseases cause by sex is not trying turn them into genophobia but to make sure people are aware of those sexual transmitted diseases. By the way, Genophobia means Fear of Sex.
Play Safe, Use Condoms!
Sex Dictionary.
- Abortion = The medical term for end of a pregnancy. This can be natural which is known as a miscarriage, or it can be an operation to end a pregnancy by removing the fetus from the womb.
- AIDS = It's a serious condition in which the body's defenses against some illnesses stop working properly. The virus that causes AIDS is HIV, which can be sexually transmitted.
- Chlamydia = A very common sexually transmitted infection that effects both boys and girls. If untreated, it can lead to infertility in girls.
- Combined pill = A contraceptive pill that is taken every day and prevents pregnancy by stopping a girl from producing eggs.
- Date rape = When someone goes on a date and then forces their date to have sex with them against their will.
- Emergency Pills = Contraceptive pills that can be taken up to 72 hours after unprotected sex to prevent pregnancy. Also known as Emergency Hormonal Contraception (EHC).
- Fellatio = Another word for a blow job.
- Gonorrhoea = A sexually transmitted infection, also known as The Clap.
- Hepatitis A = A disease that affects the liver which can be caught through sexual activities like rimming or by sharing infected needles used to inject drugs.
- Herpes = A virus that can lead to sores on the face or gentiles.
- HIV = Human Immunodeficiency Virus can be sexually transmitted and is the virus that damages the immune system and can lead to AIDS.
- HPV = Human Papilloma Virus can be found in human that can contribute to cell changes in the cervix.
- Hymen = The thin layer of skin that partially covers the entrance to a girl's vagina. It can be broken by sex, tampons or various sporting activities.
hmmm.. That's a lot more but I just simply won't list out all.. By telling people those diseases cause by sex is not trying turn them into genophobia but to make sure people are aware of those sexual transmitted diseases. By the way, Genophobia means Fear of Sex.
Play Safe, Use Condoms!
Friday
Relationship's Fragile Too
Song showing on my ipod : Excited 2006 by 2morrow
I was really bored in the afternoon. Well, not really but still i feel bored doing the same thing everyday. So, I decided to come out with something different. I watched Pokemon! Hahaha. You prolly think I'm a little too old for that but hey! Who cares? Its fun and pokemon are so kawaii. Just wish to have one or two of 'em. Beside that, I packed my stuff too. I mean those clothing I plan to leave it at Sam's place when I'm there for a week of inspection. No way I'm going to carry two big baggage on 3rd June, the day I'm leaving to Melbourne. Since he doesn't mind me using a little space of his to put my stuff. I'll leave it there then. And this super trouper nice guy promise to pick me up at the air port the morning I arrive. awwh.. How nice.. How sweet! Thanks dude. ^^ Oh ya! Sam's sick. Not a major one but sometimes minor make people feel even worst. He's suffering for sore throat, according to what he told me. I'm wondering how the hell he take care of himself in the past few year at Melbourne? No offence but I feel like I know how to take care of myself better than he does. Hahaha. Maybe daddy shouldn't be calling Sam or Kai Young to take care of me. I can do that better than them. Wohooo~Sore throat huh? Drinking "Salt Water" or "Fresh Squeeze Lemon plus Cold Water" help. At least, it works on me.
Read Claudia's blog. I felt so bad for not supporting her always. I mean, yea~ I used to be there all the time when she need me. I'm still willing to be there, but she just seems like doesn't need it anymore. She's right. Friendship bond are broken. We aren't as close as before but it doesn't mean I don't care about my friends. Hope that she'll understand. I've been really busy nowadays. Have to get my connecting offer from RMIT, get everything I need before I leave, working with my parents aren't relax or easy like everyone thought, fetching my brother and sister practically everyday.. I don't even have time to hang out with my friends. Maybe in May. I'm going to stop working in May and call up my friends before I left. At the mean time, I just wish they really understand and tolerate and forgive me. Well, well.. Another problem Claudia facing is about her relationship. It seems like cracking her heart and burn down her toleration. I seriously got no idea what had happen, but I think it's because of Kenny, again. Seems like they couldn't get into a same footsteps. I mean, like what mentioned. Claudia always following and catching up Kenny. Like me, always following the shadow of the one I love. But relationship shouldn't be like that. If the guy cares, why don't they try to slow down, let us catch up their steps and go on together? Actually, I shouldn't be counseling or giving advice to everyone, I'm the one who need 'em. Hahaha. But who cares? People always think I'm really open minded and happy-go-lucky type of girl. Since they thought I'm like that, Then why should I be like that? I dislike people judge me from my appearance. I dislike people knowing the real me or the Sylvia i made up for. I'm unique! Told ya. You wouldn't get to know what's in my mind, what's my next move.. but one thing for sure.. i love. I love my family, I love my friends, I love the one I love, I love to be different. but not weird. ^^ take it, or leave it.
p.s take care of your throat.
I was really bored in the afternoon. Well, not really but still i feel bored doing the same thing everyday. So, I decided to come out with something different. I watched Pokemon! Hahaha. You prolly think I'm a little too old for that but hey! Who cares? Its fun and pokemon are so kawaii. Just wish to have one or two of 'em. Beside that, I packed my stuff too. I mean those clothing I plan to leave it at Sam's place when I'm there for a week of inspection. No way I'm going to carry two big baggage on 3rd June, the day I'm leaving to Melbourne. Since he doesn't mind me using a little space of his to put my stuff. I'll leave it there then. And this super trouper nice guy promise to pick me up at the air port the morning I arrive. awwh.. How nice.. How sweet! Thanks dude. ^^ Oh ya! Sam's sick. Not a major one but sometimes minor make people feel even worst. He's suffering for sore throat, according to what he told me. I'm wondering how the hell he take care of himself in the past few year at Melbourne? No offence but I feel like I know how to take care of myself better than he does. Hahaha. Maybe daddy shouldn't be calling Sam or Kai Young to take care of me. I can do that better than them. Wohooo~Sore throat huh? Drinking "Salt Water" or "Fresh Squeeze Lemon plus Cold Water" help. At least, it works on me.
Read Claudia's blog. I felt so bad for not supporting her always. I mean, yea~ I used to be there all the time when she need me. I'm still willing to be there, but she just seems like doesn't need it anymore. She's right. Friendship bond are broken. We aren't as close as before but it doesn't mean I don't care about my friends. Hope that she'll understand. I've been really busy nowadays. Have to get my connecting offer from RMIT, get everything I need before I leave, working with my parents aren't relax or easy like everyone thought, fetching my brother and sister practically everyday.. I don't even have time to hang out with my friends. Maybe in May. I'm going to stop working in May and call up my friends before I left. At the mean time, I just wish they really understand and tolerate and forgive me. Well, well.. Another problem Claudia facing is about her relationship. It seems like cracking her heart and burn down her toleration. I seriously got no idea what had happen, but I think it's because of Kenny, again. Seems like they couldn't get into a same footsteps. I mean, like what mentioned. Claudia always following and catching up Kenny. Like me, always following the shadow of the one I love. But relationship shouldn't be like that. If the guy cares, why don't they try to slow down, let us catch up their steps and go on together? Actually, I shouldn't be counseling or giving advice to everyone, I'm the one who need 'em. Hahaha. But who cares? People always think I'm really open minded and happy-go-lucky type of girl. Since they thought I'm like that, Then why should I be like that? I dislike people judge me from my appearance. I dislike people knowing the real me or the Sylvia i made up for. I'm unique! Told ya. You wouldn't get to know what's in my mind, what's my next move.. but one thing for sure.. i love. I love my family, I love my friends, I love the one I love, I love to be different. but not weird. ^^ take it, or leave it.
p.s take care of your throat.
Thursday
Different Point Of View
Song showing on my ipod : Baby Please Don't Go by Chicago
People prolly think I'm out of topic or subject to discuss cause I blog everyday, practically everyday. I will be inactive to blog sometimes, but so far, nothing beside sadness stopped me from blogging, from writing out my thoughts, my feelings and my anger. Oh, lets start with anger! I'm stuck in a jam at the tol on the way to Subang terminal. Seriously, you'll hate it and angry when you're in this fucked-up traffic jam for like an hour or more just because those stupid third mentality drivers cutting line from the very left lane to the right one between 4 lane. Couldn't the drivers be a little concern and patient to que up? I mean, since they are going to the right lane, then, why not be at the right lane in the first place? And you wouldn't believe this, there's this old lady, i'm wondering if she's those old ugly fugly virgin that has some mental illness, anyway, she's being rude to me when she tried to cut my line and I don't let. Hahahah. I don't see why should I allow people like her to cut my line. I que up for this, and you simply jump in like that? Noway! Argh. So that's all about my anger part. Well, the anger stayed for like 1hour 15minutes and eventually, it gone after my breakfast.
Ever heard of anyone saying " Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness." ? I personally think that this quote by Carl Jung is really good. He made a point. I don't think any of us will know how is the feeling of happy if you never feel sadness. Is just like, how do you know you'll die if you don't jump down from the KL Tower? Hahaha. I'm not trying to make fun of the quote by Carl, but its another way of explaining it right? Happy.. Is't really hard for one to be happy? Well, not really. Different point of view on this subject will come out with different answer. Depending on one's point of view i mean. For some people, having their lover will make them happy for life. But for some people, they will be happy with only a little present by Santa Claus. See? That's so different. Learn to be happy easily, learn not to be so fussy, and you'll feel that to be happy is something you always feel. Argh. I don't know what the hell am I trying to say here.
"If you love somebody, set them free. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were." I think it make sense now. And by setting him free, make me feel better than before. Was so stubborn before last night. Before I saw this quote. It's right, I love him, I always do. Then, what am I expecting now? Expecting him to love me like I do? No, I don't expect to get returns like that. Well, even it's better to have it. But I won't blame even though I give more than I take. So, what's the problem now? Why am I still feeling depressed? Feeling upset or hurt? I found the answer! *grin* I never set him free. I never set myself free. Free from this heavy lock of tenderness blindly. I can still love him. Since I haven't found my love one, and he's there for me to love. Don't be jealous that I have somebody to love and you don't. Hahahaha.Then, why not? Why am I trying to deny or pushing myself so hard on it? There's no problem and I'm not doing anything that's breach of law by loving him. Right? I won't be cruel to myself anymore. Thanks to Joee. I will be loving myself, my family & friends. And also, I will be loving him as well. Loving is some magical feelings that motivate everyone. ^^ So, conclusion is Make Love No War. *peace*
p.s don't forget! i am coming.
People prolly think I'm out of topic or subject to discuss cause I blog everyday, practically everyday. I will be inactive to blog sometimes, but so far, nothing beside sadness stopped me from blogging, from writing out my thoughts, my feelings and my anger. Oh, lets start with anger! I'm stuck in a jam at the tol on the way to Subang terminal. Seriously, you'll hate it and angry when you're in this fucked-up traffic jam for like an hour or more just because those stupid third mentality drivers cutting line from the very left lane to the right one between 4 lane. Couldn't the drivers be a little concern and patient to que up? I mean, since they are going to the right lane, then, why not be at the right lane in the first place? And you wouldn't believe this, there's this old lady, i'm wondering if she's those old ugly fugly virgin that has some mental illness, anyway, she's being rude to me when she tried to cut my line and I don't let. Hahahah. I don't see why should I allow people like her to cut my line. I que up for this, and you simply jump in like that? Noway! Argh. So that's all about my anger part. Well, the anger stayed for like 1hour 15minutes and eventually, it gone after my breakfast.
Ever heard of anyone saying " Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness." ? I personally think that this quote by Carl Jung is really good. He made a point. I don't think any of us will know how is the feeling of happy if you never feel sadness. Is just like, how do you know you'll die if you don't jump down from the KL Tower? Hahaha. I'm not trying to make fun of the quote by Carl, but its another way of explaining it right? Happy.. Is't really hard for one to be happy? Well, not really. Different point of view on this subject will come out with different answer. Depending on one's point of view i mean. For some people, having their lover will make them happy for life. But for some people, they will be happy with only a little present by Santa Claus. See? That's so different. Learn to be happy easily, learn not to be so fussy, and you'll feel that to be happy is something you always feel. Argh. I don't know what the hell am I trying to say here.
"If you love somebody, set them free. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were." I think it make sense now. And by setting him free, make me feel better than before. Was so stubborn before last night. Before I saw this quote. It's right, I love him, I always do. Then, what am I expecting now? Expecting him to love me like I do? No, I don't expect to get returns like that. Well, even it's better to have it. But I won't blame even though I give more than I take. So, what's the problem now? Why am I still feeling depressed? Feeling upset or hurt? I found the answer! *grin* I never set him free. I never set myself free. Free from this heavy lock of tenderness blindly. I can still love him. Since I haven't found my love one, and he's there for me to love. Don't be jealous that I have somebody to love and you don't. Hahahaha.Then, why not? Why am I trying to deny or pushing myself so hard on it? There's no problem and I'm not doing anything that's breach of law by loving him. Right? I won't be cruel to myself anymore. Thanks to Joee. I will be loving myself, my family & friends. And also, I will be loving him as well. Loving is some magical feelings that motivate everyone. ^^ So, conclusion is Make Love No War. *peace*
p.s don't forget! i am coming.
Wednesday
What-So-Ever
Song showing on my ipod : Heartbreak Lullaby by A*Teens
Wasn't in a good mood at all. Basically, I'm just so confused. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing, or a stupid one. I shouldn't lock myself in this totally fucked-up room of memories. Even though I shouldn't, but I still can't help falling. I hate myself for loving him. I hate myself for falling in love. Not about the love or relationship thingy but I just hardly fall in love. Love i mean. Not like. Not puppy love. What i mean is L-O-V-E, LOVE. Its really hard for me to settle down. Maybe I'm playful. I realize I'm so notCapricorn. Well, beside that few of the characteristic like tough, stubborn, responsible and leadership. I'm just not the Capricorn. I'm sensitive, emotion, playful, love to be different, creative.. See ! That's totally not the Capricorn act. It sounds more like an Aquarius, a Gemini. Hell ya!
Well, maybe to some of my friends, I'm a little silly. But at least, i think its worth it. What words to describe me? Tough? Emotional? Sensitive? Understanding? Stubborn? Silly? Oh no.. One word, indescribable. That's so me! I got different characteristic. I mean, yea~ I can be so emotional, so sensitive, can be really tough and bold, also stubborn. I'm just so unique. Hahaha. See! My life's so excited, full of excitement and colorful. You just simply can't catch me, or even know what the hell am I thinking. People just can't understand, and I don't think they know what am I thinking. Yea~ You wouldn't know what is my next move, no idea at all. Okays. Off that self-praising topic. I'm confidence and feel good being myself. I guess.
Oh gosh! I put on weight. Look like a professional ambassador of a pig now. hahaha. Laugh out Loud k? I want my readers to be happy. I felt happy and proud to make everyone happy. You know, happiness are the most precious thing. Not a human life. life without happiness are totally sucks. It's pitiful and sad. Happiness are the key of everything. Even though you are the multi-millionaire or whatever famous amous super star. It won't bring you the real happiness if you don't use your pure and sincere heart to see it!!! You see! People tried to be happy, act like they are happy and stuff. But, are they really happy? The feeling of happy should be shown by itself, not by acting it out or describing it. Well, I'm not good at being happy. But I guess I'm pretty good at making others happy. At least, I tried my best to make other happy. Bringing happiness is something good and blessful. Right?
p.s i love you! Be happy.
Wasn't in a good mood at all. Basically, I'm just so confused. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing, or a stupid one. I shouldn't lock myself in this totally fucked-up room of memories. Even though I shouldn't, but I still can't help falling. I hate myself for loving him. I hate myself for falling in love. Not about the love or relationship thingy but I just hardly fall in love. Love i mean. Not like. Not puppy love. What i mean is L-O-V-E, LOVE. Its really hard for me to settle down. Maybe I'm playful. I realize I'm so not
Well, maybe to some of my friends, I'm a little silly. But at least, i think its worth it. What words to describe me? Tough? Emotional? Sensitive? Understanding? Stubborn? Silly? Oh no.. One word, indescribable. That's so me! I got different characteristic. I mean, yea~ I can be so emotional, so sensitive, can be really tough and bold, also stubborn. I'm just so unique. Hahaha. See! My life's so excited, full of excitement and colorful. You just simply can't catch me, or even know what the hell am I thinking. People just can't understand, and I don't think they know what am I thinking. Yea~ You wouldn't know what is my next move, no idea at all. Okays. Off that self-praising topic. I'm confidence and feel good being myself. I guess.
Oh gosh! I put on weight. Look like a professional ambassador of a pig now. hahaha. Laugh out Loud k? I want my readers to be happy. I felt happy and proud to make everyone happy. You know, happiness are the most precious thing. Not a human life. life without happiness are totally sucks. It's pitiful and sad. Happiness are the key of everything. Even though you are the multi-millionaire or whatever famous amous super star. It won't bring you the real happiness if you don't use your pure and sincere heart to see it!!! You see! People tried to be happy, act like they are happy and stuff. But, are they really happy? The feeling of happy should be shown by itself, not by acting it out or describing it. Well, I'm not good at being happy. But I guess I'm pretty good at making others happy. At least, I tried my best to make other happy. Bringing happiness is something good and blessful. Right?
p.s i love you! Be happy.
Saturday
I'm Back
Song showing on my ipod : Hurry Up by North
Welcome back! I'm back from Australia. Guess what? I think I'll be doing fine over there. Got myself a place to live at Carlton. It's Arrow On Swanston. It's what i want and now, i've got it. Just have to be more independence. I'm all alone over there. Nobody I can rely, gotta be tough, be bold and just do it.
In the past few days, i've paid my deposit to RMIT, recognize the place & places i get my daily needs. I've meet up Sam, Kai Young and Yiu Shiun. Well, and Sam's sister, Carolyn and the cutest and naughty puppy, Cookie. It's cool to have Cookie around, she's so active and cute. Exactly what a girl want for to be a pet.
Lot of things happen in these three night. Not big, major one but it affected me. a lot. Trying my very best to let go, well, at least to be a friend. Felt guilty, I'd ask him not to pretend or act to be someone they are not. but me myself seems to be an actress for months. At least, nobody get hurts by that. But I'm the suckiest actress i guess. i can act like a friend, pretty well. Act like a professional counselor. But i couldn't act like i don't care. i just can't leave him alone, when i know he needed someone. Am not sure bout my feelings or even his, but I'm sure my next move is to act like "who cares?". i just need to be Gemini for once, fake up an identity or mask, to stop myself for being true and honest. To hide my ugly faces with scars of love. Showing love and feelings are getting harder and harder now. At least, i do think it's hard for me. Hiding 'em like i always been doing can stop things hurting me. Well, maybe I'm just hurting myself. My heart is fragile and breakable, i need to safe it from breaking. What i need is someone to care, to love, to be care, to be love, understanding and the most! i just don't wanna be alone. Is that really hard? Or maybe, no one cares. It's been so long since i last felt myself losing self-esteem, thinking that I'm a complete loser in love and relationship. Oh, no! I'm loser in love and relationship. Totally, completely, 100 percent loser.
p.s sorry, but i still care
Welcome back! I'm back from Australia. Guess what? I think I'll be doing fine over there. Got myself a place to live at Carlton. It's Arrow On Swanston. It's what i want and now, i've got it. Just have to be more independence. I'm all alone over there. Nobody I can rely, gotta be tough, be bold and just do it.
In the past few days, i've paid my deposit to RMIT, recognize the place & places i get my daily needs. I've meet up Sam, Kai Young and Yiu Shiun. Well, and Sam's sister, Carolyn and the cutest and naughty puppy, Cookie. It's cool to have Cookie around, she's so active and cute. Exactly what a girl want for to be a pet.
Lot of things happen in these three night. Not big, major one but it affected me. a lot. Trying my very best to let go, well, at least to be a friend. Felt guilty, I'd ask him not to pretend or act to be someone they are not. but me myself seems to be an actress for months. At least, nobody get hurts by that. But I'm the suckiest actress i guess. i can act like a friend, pretty well. Act like a professional counselor. But i couldn't act like i don't care. i just can't leave him alone, when i know he needed someone. Am not sure bout my feelings or even his, but I'm sure my next move is to act like "who cares?". i just need to be Gemini for once, fake up an identity or mask, to stop myself for being true and honest. To hide my ugly faces with scars of love. Showing love and feelings are getting harder and harder now. At least, i do think it's hard for me. Hiding 'em like i always been doing can stop things hurting me. Well, maybe I'm just hurting myself. My heart is fragile and breakable, i need to safe it from breaking. What i need is someone to care, to love, to be care, to be love, understanding and the most! i just don't wanna be alone. Is that really hard? Or maybe, no one cares. It's been so long since i last felt myself losing self-esteem, thinking that I'm a complete loser in love and relationship. Oh, no! I'm loser in love and relationship. Totally, completely, 100 percent loser.
p.s sorry, but i still care
Tuesday
Face it!!
Reach Melbourne Airport in the morning. Susan arranged someone to pick us up in the airport to our hotel, Grand Mercure Hotel on Swanston Street along Bourke Street. After changing and put our heavy stuff down, parents and I went for lunch. Ate at a restaurant own by a Malaysian. Then, we decided to visit my Resort Brookes Apartment at Carlton. Its long way from hotel and RMIT. But i think tramp will do the walking. Its convenient. Guess I'll just settle myself there for another few years.
After that, we walk around. Took the tramp to few streets. We had lunch at a restaurant near by. It's own by a Malaysian again. The food was not bad, but the size .. woah!! just so big and i couldn't finish it. We shop but not much. Went RMIT building. It look awesome! well, not as good as University of Melbourne, but its definitely a nice school. Anyway, i haven't decide to study study at University of Melbourne, Monash University or RMIT University. Anyway, it depends on my result.
People just don't know how to face it unless they are in the situation. Just like me! Dad was worrying all the time, i wasn't a independent girl like others thought i am. I'm clumsy like what Sam and few of my friends keep saying. I'm also a little blur and dumb. LOL. I don't really know how to take care of myself. But in this completely different place, different environment, different social life, I'll just have to take this. And make sure everything is under control.
After that, we walk around. Took the tramp to few streets. We had lunch at a restaurant near by. It's own by a Malaysian again. The food was not bad, but the size .. woah!! just so big and i couldn't finish it. We shop but not much. Went RMIT building. It look awesome! well, not as good as University of Melbourne, but its definitely a nice school. Anyway, i haven't decide to study study at University of Melbourne, Monash University or RMIT University. Anyway, it depends on my result.
People just don't know how to face it unless they are in the situation. Just like me! Dad was worrying all the time, i wasn't a independent girl like others thought i am. I'm clumsy like what Sam and few of my friends keep saying. I'm also a little blur and dumb. LOL. I don't really know how to take care of myself. But in this completely different place, different environment, different social life, I'll just have to take this. And make sure everything is under control.
Monday
On Plane
Was suppose to go for a walk, but my body just doesn't seem like mine anymore. Tired and feeling a little pain. anyway, i fetch mother to work. There's lot of work to do. It just wouldn't end. i mean, we have to keep everything updated, key-in details, bank in those cheque issued by customer. And it just won't have an ending for it. Was suppose to have yoga class in the evening but i canceled. Reason? Cause i'm in the plane now. Yea~ air plane or airplane, whatever you call it. Was rushing to KLIA and my flight is departing around 9.45pm. transit at Singapore. Parents and i are not going for direct flight. It's uncomfortable. Even though we only stop by at Singapore around an hour. It felt better than flying to Melbourne directly. the food was not bad. well, what you expect? i'm not those filthy rich fellow who only sit the business class and first class. In fact, i never been. i don't see why do we have to spend extra money just to get a so-called high class and comfy seats? anyway its still the same flight, same journey, isn't it? i rather take the economy seats and save the money to shop. See! i told yah i'm not rich man's daughter. Yet, i live happily with my family full of tenderness.
was looking outside the window. i think my flight is now on top of Alice Springs, Australia. hahaha.. No doubt! i got that information by looking at the screen in front of me. This was the first time i'm awake in a plane and looking outside. i can see plenty of stars hanging on this dark blue sky. Tons of them. Shining stars. well, its not as beautiful as i saw in New Zealand. Cause the sky are cleared and stars bright and shines. i felt that it was so close to me. Wouldn't forget that scene. Earnestly, i like stars very much. i like moon, but not the full one. And also stars. Always wondering stars shine and twinkle up the sky. Do it mean something? Some signal or some outer space language. well, i prolly think too much. you know.. i'm full of creativity and imagination. *grin* but we won't know right. i seriously do felt when stars shine and twinkle, they are trying to tell us something. it might mean something. hmmm. i know.. people prolly laughing at me right now.
watch cheaper by the dozen 2, again in plane. This was my third time watching but i still laughing loud for it. i admire the bakers family. well, me myself are so close with my family, just like the Baker's. They as parents don't force their children to do something they dislike. Parents always give me chances and leave everything for me to choose by myself. Once chosen, they expect me to be responsible, because i myself choose it. Never regrets, never blame on others. That's how my parents train me up. Till now, there's only one thing i regret, but never blame on anyone.
was looking outside the window. i think my flight is now on top of Alice Springs, Australia. hahaha.. No doubt! i got that information by looking at the screen in front of me. This was the first time i'm awake in a plane and looking outside. i can see plenty of stars hanging on this dark blue sky. Tons of them. Shining stars. well, its not as beautiful as i saw in New Zealand. Cause the sky are cleared and stars bright and shines. i felt that it was so close to me. Wouldn't forget that scene. Earnestly, i like stars very much. i like moon, but not the full one. And also stars. Always wondering stars shine and twinkle up the sky. Do it mean something? Some signal or some outer space language. well, i prolly think too much. you know.. i'm full of creativity and imagination. *grin* but we won't know right. i seriously do felt when stars shine and twinkle, they are trying to tell us something. it might mean something. hmmm. i know.. people prolly laughing at me right now.
watch cheaper by the dozen 2, again in plane. This was my third time watching but i still laughing loud for it. i admire the bakers family. well, me myself are so close with my family, just like the Baker's. They as parents don't force their children to do something they dislike. Parents always give me chances and leave everything for me to choose by myself. Once chosen, they expect me to be responsible, because i myself choose it. Never regrets, never blame on others. That's how my parents train me up. Till now, there's only one thing i regret, but never blame on anyone.
Sunday
First Yoga Class
Song showing on my ipod : Crazy for this girl by bbmark
OMG!fuck. i'm sorry for swearing here. But I wasted twenty minutes to finish my post and deleted it accidentally. argh.. Anyway, have to start all over again. *sniff* it's eleven and forty eight.. i'm so dead. My puffy eye bags are getting obvious nowadays. ahhh!! That's what I got after few days of not sleeping before ten o'clock. Exactly, some of you might think sleeping at ten o'clock are crazy! It's early. wooops. It is for guys and those clubbers. But not for a female that needs a lot of rest like me! See? It's eleven and forty eight. oh no.. eleven and forty nine.. and i'm still awake. Gosh! gonna be the ugliest member of the family of Chang. woahaha. Proud of my family. Cause we love each other so much. Anyway, I just have to re-arrange my time after trip to Australia. Need a lot of beauty sleep. *wink*
so.. a Sunday started off with an inactive Sylvia (yea! That's me) attending my very first yoga class. Why am I being so inactive nowadays? That's all because of you! (don't turn around Mr Andy Chen) . *grin* anyway, happy that you kept your promise to call me every nights. But I think we should control ourselves. i'm not having enough sleep. lalala~ anyway, back to yoga class. My yoga instructor is Mr Sam low. He's awesome! I mean, at least to me he is. I saw him doing headstand and lotus pose. Gosh~ how can he be so cool? i'm gonna learn it. Headstand with lotus pose for at least 5minutes. Balancing with headstand and stuff. ahhhh~ it's just so cool. It's very different from break dancing. Well, you know.. Break dancer done plenty of headstand with spinning and all that. I won't admire those. But for yoga, headstand with lotus pose! Great. hahaha. And it looks cooler. And i'm going to do it, believe me! After I trained up my strength, i'm going to do headstand with lotus pose and also others. LOL. So my very first yoga class ended with the cutest baby pose. hahaha. After that, we went imbi palace for brunch. And klcc till evening. Nothing much to talk about beside the tiffany &co. yea~ we went to tiffany & co. Daddy planning to buy mummy a tiffany & co. Ring and necklace. Their 20yrs anniversary. Wow~ sweet. ahhaha. i love 'em. Love my family so much. The salesman told us there's a guy bought a ring cost 300k to propose. OMG! i just don't get it. Why do he need to buy a 300k ring ? i mean, hey! You're wife are going to wear a BMW on her finger? That's just so crazy. Well, at least to me it is. What if the robber saw it and chop off her finger for the ring? Don't laugh! It can happen. Isn't it? Its just so not safe. hahaha. i rather my husband buy me a ring around 100k and the rest we spend it in honeymoon to Paris, Hawaii, Italy and other places. LOL. ahhaha.. i'm greedy. Anyway, i don't find it worth it. 300k.. Gosh~ dude, you're buying it's name ok. Just because it's from tiffany & co. That's why it worth 300k?? Sigh.
night. We talked about our past. Well, i mean, me and my family. Uncle came over for dinner. And we show off our childhood photos. Lots of memories. Seeing those photos make us feel warm and happy. You can see everyone of us getting older. hahaha. Yea~ we look so childish and like ah beng ah lian when we're young. And now? woah! Definitely the classy one. *grin* uncle was telling he's going to miss me and worry bout me when i'm off to Aus. Well, i do think so. hahaha. We're so close. Especially me and my family. They are guessing who'll miss me the most. My father and my brother come first before my mother and sister. ^^ daddy loves me and pampered me since i'm a baby. Brother and i are the closest siblings you can ever see. Everyone included my friends, my parents' friends and relatives thought so. We're incredibly close. I'll miss everyone. Especially my dad, mom, brother and my little sister. *sigh* gonna miss them like crazy. Anyway, I'll do my best over there. Wouldn't let them down. ^^
p.s love 'em
OMG!
so.. a Sunday started off with an inactive Sylvia (yea! That's me) attending my very first yoga class. Why am I being so inactive nowadays? That's all because of you! (don't turn around Mr Andy Chen) . *grin* anyway, happy that you kept your promise to call me every nights. But I think we should control ourselves. i'm not having enough sleep. lalala~ anyway, back to yoga class. My yoga instructor is Mr Sam low. He's awesome! I mean, at least to me he is. I saw him doing headstand and lotus pose. Gosh~ how can he be so cool? i'm gonna learn it. Headstand with lotus pose for at least 5minutes. Balancing with headstand and stuff. ahhhh~ it's just so cool. It's very different from break dancing. Well, you know.. Break dancer done plenty of headstand with spinning and all that. I won't admire those. But for yoga, headstand with lotus pose! Great. hahaha. And it looks cooler. And i'm going to do it, believe me! After I trained up my strength, i'm going to do headstand with lotus pose and also others. LOL. So my very first yoga class ended with the cutest baby pose. hahaha. After that, we went imbi palace for brunch. And klcc till evening. Nothing much to talk about beside the tiffany &co. yea~ we went to tiffany & co. Daddy planning to buy mummy a tiffany & co. Ring and necklace. Their 20yrs anniversary. Wow~ sweet. ahhaha. i love 'em. Love my family so much. The salesman told us there's a guy bought a ring cost 300k to propose. OMG! i just don't get it. Why do he need to buy a 300k ring ? i mean, hey! You're wife are going to wear a BMW on her finger? That's just so crazy. Well, at least to me it is. What if the robber saw it and chop off her finger for the ring? Don't laugh! It can happen. Isn't it? Its just so not safe. hahaha. i rather my husband buy me a ring around 100k and the rest we spend it in honeymoon to Paris, Hawaii, Italy and other places. LOL. ahhaha.. i'm greedy. Anyway, i don't find it worth it. 300k.. Gosh~ dude, you're buying it's name ok. Just because it's from tiffany & co. That's why it worth 300k?? Sigh.
night. We talked about our past. Well, i mean, me and my family. Uncle came over for dinner. And we show off our childhood photos. Lots of memories. Seeing those photos make us feel warm and happy. You can see everyone of us getting older. hahaha. Yea~ we look so childish and like ah beng ah lian when we're young. And now? woah! Definitely the classy one. *grin* uncle was telling he's going to miss me and worry bout me when i'm off to Aus. Well, i do think so. hahaha. We're so close. Especially me and my family. They are guessing who'll miss me the most. My father and my brother come first before my mother and sister. ^^ daddy loves me and pampered me since i'm a baby. Brother and i are the closest siblings you can ever see. Everyone included my friends, my parents' friends and relatives thought so. We're incredibly close. I'll miss everyone. Especially my dad, mom, brother and my little sister. *sigh* gonna miss them like crazy. Anyway, I'll do my best over there. Wouldn't let them down. ^^
p.s love 'em
Friday
Value of Promise
song showing on my ipod : california dreaming by north
i was suppose to be in my warm blanket and hugging my soft hubble by now. but instead of doing that, i'm laying on my bed, laptop on my front tight, blogging. just couldn't stop blogging. well, don't ask me why, i don't know. actually, was sleeping around 9.30pm. parents come back around 11 and brought me and my brother out for supper. i shouldn't be doing that, i'm gaining weight! but just can't control, hahha. you can't control yourself when you know how delicious the food at jalan aloh can be. poor sister couldn't join us, she's sleeping beside me, deadly. LOL.
on the way to jalan aloh and on the way back, we listened to radio. the dj was helping those people solving their problem. i love this much. its something like counseling, at least to me it sounds like. there is this women telling the dj she and her husband were couple for 9 years and got married till now, 12 years. after so long, she realize her so-called loving husband cheat on her. she saw his sweet and loving messages to another women who has a family too. they are having an affair. she'd mentioned those promises between them, the wife and husband. i'm wondering, how to justify the value of each promises? i just don't understand why can't people keep their promises? dare to promise, dare not to break it. the value of promises seems to be disappointed nowadays. people thought giving promises are something grateful or an excuse. but don't they realize that promises actually equals to responsibility? if they promised, why can't they keep it without breaking it? or, maybe promises are meant to be break. if that is truth, earnestly there is no need to make any promise. i've gone through this, i know how disappointed can it be if someone breaks their promises. its worst than giving a punch on their face. anyway, good luck to that women whose husband is having an affair. try to put me in her situation, well.. i definitely will leave him. i just can't bear with it. i can't accept my guy turn his back on me and having affair or any special relationship with another person. i can forgive but i won't forget. sometimes guys thought they are the smartest to apologies after their affair are visible, cause their girl will forgive. they forgive because they can't let go, not that they don't mind and willing to forget it. wake up ladies! he can betrayed once, had an affair once, there will be second, third and forth coming up. why take the risk?? sigh.
if promises become meaningless, what will happen to those loving couple in church with wedding gown, black tie..?? they are making promises to take care each other now and forever. still, promises. how do you want people to trust? to believe?
i was suppose to be in my warm blanket and hugging my soft hubble by now. but instead of doing that, i'm laying on my bed, laptop on my front tight, blogging. just couldn't stop blogging. well, don't ask me why, i don't know. actually, was sleeping around 9.30pm. parents come back around 11 and brought me and my brother out for supper. i shouldn't be doing that, i'm gaining weight! but just can't control, hahha. you can't control yourself when you know how delicious the food at jalan aloh can be. poor sister couldn't join us, she's sleeping beside me, deadly. LOL.
on the way to jalan aloh and on the way back, we listened to radio. the dj was helping those people solving their problem. i love this much. its something like counseling, at least to me it sounds like. there is this women telling the dj she and her husband were couple for 9 years and got married till now, 12 years. after so long, she realize her so-called loving husband cheat on her. she saw his sweet and loving messages to another women who has a family too. they are having an affair. she'd mentioned those promises between them, the wife and husband. i'm wondering, how to justify the value of each promises? i just don't understand why can't people keep their promises? dare to promise, dare not to break it. the value of promises seems to be disappointed nowadays. people thought giving promises are something grateful or an excuse. but don't they realize that promises actually equals to responsibility? if they promised, why can't they keep it without breaking it? or, maybe promises are meant to be break. if that is truth, earnestly there is no need to make any promise. i've gone through this, i know how disappointed can it be if someone breaks their promises. its worst than giving a punch on their face. anyway, good luck to that women whose husband is having an affair. try to put me in her situation, well.. i definitely will leave him. i just can't bear with it. i can't accept my guy turn his back on me and having affair or any special relationship with another person. i can forgive but i won't forget. sometimes guys thought they are the smartest to apologies after their affair are visible, cause their girl will forgive. they forgive because they can't let go, not that they don't mind and willing to forget it. wake up ladies! he can betrayed once, had an affair once, there will be second, third and forth coming up. why take the risk?? sigh.
if promises become meaningless, what will happen to those loving couple in church with wedding gown, black tie..?? they are making promises to take care each other now and forever. still, promises. how do you want people to trust? to believe?
Thursday
do not ignore me
song showing on my ipod : to think i used to love you by uncle cracker.
phew. what a busy day! firstly, i do think i need to speak out loud. i mean, people are ignoring me i guess. well, not exactly. maybe i'm a little sensitive about it but hey! it happens a few times. i know i'm not pretty enough, i'm not gorgeous or hot like those chicas. it doesn't mean i'm no exist right? people make me feel like i'm not exist or even worst, invisible. thank you, thank you very much. it's not funny at all. i might felt left out and stuck myself out of everyone or lock myself in a room, talking to myself and stuff like that. even worst, commit suicide. you see how serious can it be as extending of those effects. LOL. so my conclusion is, do not ignore me! i just simply don't like to be ignored. maybe its not done on purpose but still it hurt my pride, my confidence, my soul, my whatever. not that i'm seeking for attention. well, maybe a little. not a major one. hahaha. everyone needs at least a small tiny little attention from others. having everyone attention, in positive ways help to build up self-confidence and also spiritual fitness. i guess. i was somebody that hiding feelings and my temper, emotions and words. but now? holly shit. i changed. i want to be real, want to be active like i used to be, want to be the leader. i realize what i want is to be the leader but not thefollower. i just don't want to be the dog following behind the master. and now, i would like to announce, i'm going to be the master instead of the dog.
i've read a friend's blog. obviously, she's not really enjoying her life with parents. oh no, she definitely hate to live under one roof with her parents. it doesn't make sense to me. well, maybe because my parents and me are more like friends. we shares everything, well, maybe not everything but most of it. ^^ i love 'em loads. they respect me, they taught me a lot of things. especially my dad. i always say he's my super dad. you won't know how much i love him, respect him, admire him.. he's really smart, clever, intelligent. i mean, basically, my dad knew everything! he's good at cooking, handle stuff, loving and a perfectly family guy. he got his own way of teaching and communicate with children. i just simply proud of him. my dad is awesome! he thought me the real meaning of family. was once took friends instead of family. but now? hell no. my family definitely come first before anything. friends are still outsiders. after all this while, i can hardly trust or believe in forever friends. its really low possibility to have a true friend. you just wouldn't know which one is. but family, they are the closest. i believe family won't hurt you, they love you. maybe expressing in different ways. some might not be accepted by you, but they love you, can't deny it. some parents might be using the wrong way to show their love. yet think about it. no matter what, the aim,reason of doing everything is still because of you, for your own good. and i believe anyone who love their family, they are lovable. anyway, there must be some indirect argument between family, but it won't break the relations. ^^ love yourself, your family before loving others. that's one of my motto. hahaha. so called.
p.s remember! do not ignore me.
phew. what a busy day! firstly, i do think i need to speak out loud. i mean, people are ignoring me i guess. well, not exactly. maybe i'm a little sensitive about it but hey! it happens a few times. i know i'm not pretty enough, i'm not gorgeous or hot like those chicas. it doesn't mean i'm no exist right? people make me feel like i'm not exist or even worst, invisible. thank you, thank you very much. it's not funny at all. i might felt left out and stuck myself out of everyone or lock myself in a room, talking to myself and stuff like that. even worst, commit suicide. you see how serious can it be as extending of those effects. LOL. so my conclusion is, do not ignore me! i just simply don't like to be ignored. maybe its not done on purpose but still it hurt my pride, my confidence, my soul, my whatever. not that i'm seeking for attention. well, maybe a little. not a major one. hahaha. everyone needs at least a small tiny little attention from others. having everyone attention, in positive ways help to build up self-confidence and also spiritual fitness. i guess. i was somebody that hiding feelings and my temper, emotions and words. but now? holly shit. i changed. i want to be real, want to be active like i used to be, want to be the leader. i realize what i want is to be the leader but not the
i've read a friend's blog. obviously, she's not really enjoying her life with parents. oh no, she definitely hate to live under one roof with her parents. it doesn't make sense to me. well, maybe because my parents and me are more like friends. we shares everything, well, maybe not everything but most of it. ^^ i love 'em loads. they respect me, they taught me a lot of things. especially my dad. i always say he's my super dad. you won't know how much i love him, respect him, admire him.. he's really smart, clever, intelligent. i mean, basically, my dad knew everything! he's good at cooking, handle stuff, loving and a perfectly family guy. he got his own way of teaching and communicate with children. i just simply proud of him. my dad is awesome! he thought me the real meaning of family. was once took friends instead of family. but now? hell no. my family definitely come first before anything. friends are still outsiders. after all this while, i can hardly trust or believe in forever friends. its really low possibility to have a true friend. you just wouldn't know which one is. but family, they are the closest. i believe family won't hurt you, they love you. maybe expressing in different ways. some might not be accepted by you, but they love you, can't deny it. some parents might be using the wrong way to show their love. yet think about it. no matter what, the aim,reason of doing everything is still because of you, for your own good. and i believe anyone who love their family, they are lovable. anyway, there must be some indirect argument between family, but it won't break the relations. ^^ love yourself, your family before loving others. that's one of my motto. hahaha. so called.
p.s remember! do not ignore me.
Wednesday
Problems Between Lovers
song showing on my ipod : everlasting by boa
guess what? i changed my layout again! hahaha. well, you prolly think i'm too free to do so. but you're wrong. i'm really busy nowadays. working aren't that easy like what you guys thought. even worst, i have to bring it home to finish part of it. so, just try to tune the button of your imagination to the maximum and get the picture ^^. was suppose to admire those people who left university and start working in company or anywhere. i always thought their work are simple and easy, at least relax. but obviously i'm wrong. as a student, you only care about your studies, your status among friends and clubs and activities, relationship with your love one. but when you starts to work, you have to take note on everything, the relationship with your colleague, your work, your boss, your status among everyone, relationship with your love one. well, i just don't know how to explain it. but it seriously more complicated and tough compare to a student life. while working, you can see different type of people. some are having really ordinary look but with an angel heart ; some with gorgeous and friendly look but its devil's representative. you just don't know who to believe. how to trust one when you know there are a lot of people out there get in trouble or hurt cause of believing the wrong person? earnestly, i got no idea at all. how to see if one is sincere and trustworthy? another philosophy we should discuss about. ^^
visited claudia's blog after txt-ing her this evening. wasn't aware she's having problem with her beloved kenny. another topic i would like to talk about. not that i'm busy body or anything, but as a part-time counselor, i'm really interested in all this. especially when it comes to friendship and love. i'm not really experienced, but i know quite a number of actual cases that helped a lot. people just wouldn't understand their problem, or maybe they don't even know the problem they are having. why? because they are involved. as third party, we can see clearly what's going on. as a professional counselor, i wouldn't ask them or teach them what to do. instead, i'll guide them to find the real answer by giving the choices, advising them to see the same problem i saw in different perspective. you wouldn't understand the problem if you're not the person. yes, i agree with that. but when you're involving in a case, put yourself in his/her viewpoint and situation. you won't know how he/she feel unless you're he/she. make sense? sort of. whatever. back to claudia's problem. i don't know what else can i do to help this relationship. as i said, toleration is one of the ways to solve it. but if one of them take things for granted and doesn't know how to sacrifice or appreciate, that's seriously no point. like what i say, don't think that he doesn't suit you or both of you are just not suppose to be an item. ask yourself, do you ever try to tolerate and work hard for this? did you stand at your love one's point to see this whole thing again? think about it. you can't clap with a hand, you need two to clap. right? its the same theory. put it into relationship. it wouldn't be only one of you the problem, there must be problems with two of you. so, don't blame one but two. couple means two. you're couple, lover, whatever. its still refers to two person. don't say break up easily unless there's no u-turn. no point for a couple to break up and couple again for few times. that's really a waste of time.
p.s sam's dog is super adorable!! mwahxx.
guess what? i changed my layout again! hahaha. well, you prolly think i'm too free to do so. but you're wrong. i'm really busy nowadays. working aren't that easy like what you guys thought. even worst, i have to bring it home to finish part of it. so, just try to tune the button of your imagination to the maximum and get the picture ^^. was suppose to admire those people who left university and start working in company or anywhere. i always thought their work are simple and easy, at least relax. but obviously i'm wrong. as a student, you only care about your studies, your status among friends and clubs and activities, relationship with your love one. but when you starts to work, you have to take note on everything, the relationship with your colleague, your work, your boss, your status among everyone, relationship with your love one. well, i just don't know how to explain it. but it seriously more complicated and tough compare to a student life. while working, you can see different type of people. some are having really ordinary look but with an angel heart ; some with gorgeous and friendly look but its devil's representative. you just don't know who to believe. how to trust one when you know there are a lot of people out there get in trouble or hurt cause of believing the wrong person? earnestly, i got no idea at all. how to see if one is sincere and trustworthy? another philosophy we should discuss about. ^^
visited claudia's blog after txt-ing her this evening. wasn't aware she's having problem with her beloved kenny. another topic i would like to talk about. not that i'm busy body or anything, but as a part-time counselor, i'm really interested in all this. especially when it comes to friendship and love. i'm not really experienced, but i know quite a number of actual cases that helped a lot. people just wouldn't understand their problem, or maybe they don't even know the problem they are having. why? because they are involved. as third party, we can see clearly what's going on. as a professional counselor, i wouldn't ask them or teach them what to do. instead, i'll guide them to find the real answer by giving the choices, advising them to see the same problem i saw in different perspective. you wouldn't understand the problem if you're not the person. yes, i agree with that. but when you're involving in a case, put yourself in his/her viewpoint and situation. you won't know how he/she feel unless you're he/she. make sense? sort of. whatever. back to claudia's problem. i don't know what else can i do to help this relationship. as i said, toleration is one of the ways to solve it. but if one of them take things for granted and doesn't know how to sacrifice or appreciate, that's seriously no point. like what i say, don't think that he doesn't suit you or both of you are just not suppose to be an item. ask yourself, do you ever try to tolerate and work hard for this? did you stand at your love one's point to see this whole thing again? think about it. you can't clap with a hand, you need two to clap. right? its the same theory. put it into relationship. it wouldn't be only one of you the problem, there must be problems with two of you. so, don't blame one but two. couple means two. you're couple, lover, whatever. its still refers to two person. don't say break up easily unless there's no u-turn. no point for a couple to break up and couple again for few times. that's really a waste of time.
p.s sam's dog is super adorable!! mwahxx.
Perfect Guy
things a merely perfect guy will do. well, at least it works on me!! ^^
1. know how to make you smile when you are down.
- this really works and make a girl madly in love with him
2. try to secretly smell your hair, but you always notice.
- its not a big deal, but girl normally like it when they are in love
3. stick up for you, but still respects your independence.
- to keep the temperature between the lovely couple
4. give you the remote control during the game
- he cares bout you even though he might miss the world cup live
5. come up behind you and put his arms around you
- secure. ^^ and shows that you're belongs to him
6. his hands always find yours.
- afraid that you might get lost in the crowd
7. be cute when he really wants something
- guys dislike to be cute. they prefer man-ish.
8. never run out of love.
- owh.. so sweet
9. be funny, but know how to be serious.
- he's definitely the handy one
10. be patient when you take forever to get ready.
- understanding and patient are what girls need
11. smile a lot.
- it makes everything seems to be so smooth and nice
12. plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he wouldn't normally like to do, just because he knows it means a lot to you.
- it shows how important and how much he cares.
13. always gives you a peck on the cheek when you depart, even when his friends are watching.
- its something sweet between couple. but seldom did it.
14. stare at you.
- afraid you'll disappear the next second.
15. call for no reason.
- just to say i love you~
1. know how to make you smile when you are down.
- this really works and make a girl madly in love with him
2. try to secretly smell your hair, but you always notice.
- its not a big deal, but girl normally like it when they are in love
3. stick up for you, but still respects your independence.
- to keep the temperature between the lovely couple
4. give you the remote control during the game
- he cares bout you even though he might miss the world cup live
5. come up behind you and put his arms around you
- secure. ^^ and shows that you're belongs to him
6. his hands always find yours.
- afraid that you might get lost in the crowd
7. be cute when he really wants something
- guys dislike to be cute. they prefer man-ish.
8. never run out of love.
- owh.. so sweet
9. be funny, but know how to be serious.
- he's definitely the handy one
10. be patient when you take forever to get ready.
- understanding and patient are what girls need
11. smile a lot.
- it makes everything seems to be so smooth and nice
12. plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he wouldn't normally like to do, just because he knows it means a lot to you.
- it shows how important and how much he cares.
13. always gives you a peck on the cheek when you depart, even when his friends are watching.
- its something sweet between couple. but seldom did it.
14. stare at you.
- afraid you'll disappear the next second.
15. call for no reason.
- just to say i love you~
Tuesday
New Hair. New Me!!!
song showing on my ipod : can't smile withou you - barry manilow
was lazy to update my blog last two days. not exactly lazy, but just not feeling so well to let my eyes stay on the screen for long. anyway, big news!! i cut my hair. new year, new hair cut !! ^^ get it done on 1st of april. which is on the april fool. hahha. new month, new hair cut. it shows that a brand new young lady was born. LOL. but i'm serious. don't laugh. i'm definitely different. i mean, my attitude, my style and some habits. its just the brand new me. not sure if my friends can accept my changes. i pretty like what i am now ^^ . shirley was wondering why i cut my hair. its long and straight before i cut. she thought it is because of love. well, you know. normally people especially girls cut their long hair or keep their hair long cause of love. but trust me! its not because of that. i cut it cause i want something different. i'm daring to changed. tried center parting with long hair, short and center part, super short boy cut, straightening long hair.. see! i'm dare to make it look weird. hahaha. whatever! its just a normal hair cut.
was lazy to update my blog last two days. not exactly lazy, but just not feeling so well to let my eyes stay on the screen for long. anyway, big news!! i cut my hair. new year, new hair cut !! ^^ get it done on 1st of april. which is on the april fool. hahha. new month, new hair cut. it shows that a brand new young lady was born. LOL. but i'm serious. don't laugh. i'm definitely different. i mean, my attitude, my style and some habits. its just the brand new me. not sure if my friends can accept my changes. i pretty like what i am now ^^ . shirley was wondering why i cut my hair. its long and straight before i cut. she thought it is because of love. well, you know. normally people especially girls cut their long hair or keep their hair long cause of love. but trust me! its not because of that. i cut it cause i want something different. i'm daring to changed. tried center parting with long hair, short and center part, super short boy cut, straightening long hair.. see! i'm dare to make it look weird. hahaha. whatever! its just a normal hair cut.
chuuuuu~ it's me !!! new hair.
baby girl ~ its new me !
it's me !! mwahx..
talked to one of my friend the day before yesterday. he mentioned the differences between human and animal. and he got the point. human know how to hide their feelings and emotional. they also pretend and act out something they are not. something like faking. instead, animal wouldn't hide and pretend. they show their feelings and emotional without faking or pretending. don't you feel sad for human? i feel sad for them. well, including me! don't they think is really tiring? tired of faking, pretending, acting, hiding. but human are like that. they are trying to protect themselves. they don't wanna get hurt, try to make everything hidden.
p.s i miss you
Saturday
love's making everyone crazy
song showing on my ipod : fall to pieces by avril lavigne.
was suppose to wake up around 6 in the morning, instead, the whole family woke up around 7. my phone wakes me up around 5.30 in the morning, but i thought my mother will wake me up later on, so i switch it off and fell asleep, again. end up, all of us couldn't wake up and i got to wake my parents up few minutes before 7. suppose to meet uncle and aunt at nilai to pay respect to my grandfather around 7. but we're still at home at the moment, woah! they'll screw us. anyway, we reached nilai around 8 and started all the 'steps'. we bought ice-cream too, the sun shines, and temperature increasing every minutes. i'm the eldest grandchildren among all, so i helped a lot. well, and cause next year i won't be around, so i just need to pay the fullest respect to my grandfather. he used to pampered me much. helped uncle to burn those 'things' to my grandfather. its hot and steaming! hahaha. i sweat like a fat pig after running few rounds. then, we have to throw the coins to see if grandfather is here to 'collect' his stuff and if he's gone. it's called the 'sheng bui'. when the faces of the two coins are different, it means 'sheng bui', signal of 'yes'. if the faces are same, it means no.
read sam's blog. finally, he updated his blog. well, i think he's suffering or maybe i should say unhappy right now. just wish everything will be fine soon, and he'll smile like a crazy man again. just like what he said in his blog, love's making everyone crazy. it can happen to be something happy and sweet ; but also sad and bitter. i'd learn a lot and it causes me to be more mature in times. i'd love to be loved, and i'd love to love. haha, confusing? yea~ maybe it confused us. i mean, sometimes things seems to be better if it left unsaid, or unclear. making things clear sometimes hurt. my heart seems to be tough and hard. even my brother might say i'm cold blooded or heartless. well, why not put it this way, i'm covering my fragile, breakable and shattered heart with a layer of hard and tough materials. to prevent my heart from breaking again. falling into pieces. by that time, i think it's hard to recover. one or two of those pieces might be missing in action, and it might cause pain and a hole in my heart, which is unfilled. loving someone doesn't mean you have to be with him, or to have him by your side. actually, it can be something really simple, you'll satisfied if the one you love are happy, well-being. instead of forcing to be together, leaving might be a great choice. leaving doesn't mean you don't love. because you love, because you care, because you don't want to cause any trouble for the one you love, that's why you leave. the real, true and pure tenderness will always live no matter what happen. even though the world might not know it, but you yourself know you love, and god knows.
p.s cheer up. you can do better!
love loads.
was suppose to wake up around 6 in the morning, instead, the whole family woke up around 7. my phone wakes me up around 5.30 in the morning, but i thought my mother will wake me up later on, so i switch it off and fell asleep, again. end up, all of us couldn't wake up and i got to wake my parents up few minutes before 7. suppose to meet uncle and aunt at nilai to pay respect to my grandfather around 7. but we're still at home at the moment, woah! they'll screw us. anyway, we reached nilai around 8 and started all the 'steps'. we bought ice-cream too, the sun shines, and temperature increasing every minutes. i'm the eldest grandchildren among all, so i helped a lot. well, and cause next year i won't be around, so i just need to pay the fullest respect to my grandfather. he used to pampered me much. helped uncle to burn those 'things' to my grandfather. its hot and steaming! hahaha. i sweat like a fat pig after running few rounds. then, we have to throw the coins to see if grandfather is here to 'collect' his stuff and if he's gone. it's called the 'sheng bui'. when the faces of the two coins are different, it means 'sheng bui', signal of 'yes'. if the faces are same, it means no.
read sam's blog. finally, he updated his blog. well, i think he's suffering or maybe i should say unhappy right now. just wish everything will be fine soon, and he'll smile like a crazy man again. just like what he said in his blog, love's making everyone crazy. it can happen to be something happy and sweet ; but also sad and bitter. i'd learn a lot and it causes me to be more mature in times. i'd love to be loved, and i'd love to love. haha, confusing? yea~ maybe it confused us. i mean, sometimes things seems to be better if it left unsaid, or unclear. making things clear sometimes hurt. my heart seems to be tough and hard. even my brother might say i'm cold blooded or heartless. well, why not put it this way, i'm covering my fragile, breakable and shattered heart with a layer of hard and tough materials. to prevent my heart from breaking again. falling into pieces. by that time, i think it's hard to recover. one or two of those pieces might be missing in action, and it might cause pain and a hole in my heart, which is unfilled. loving someone doesn't mean you have to be with him, or to have him by your side. actually, it can be something really simple, you'll satisfied if the one you love are happy, well-being. instead of forcing to be together, leaving might be a great choice. leaving doesn't mean you don't love. because you love, because you care, because you don't want to cause any trouble for the one you love, that's why you leave. the real, true and pure tenderness will always live no matter what happen. even though the world might not know it, but you yourself know you love, and god knows.
p.s cheer up. you can do better!
love loads.
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